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1) Life's like a yoyo, you have your up times you have your down times, but it just keeps on spinnin!
2) No man is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry! (Gee, I wonder who that could be?)
3) Life's short, don't forget your undies.
4) Beautiful young people are accidents of nature(blondes)
5) Opinions are like buttholes everyone has one and they all stink
6) Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo but what you want is some1 who will take the bus with u when the limo breaks down!
7) If being a kid is a full-time job then where the heck is my paycheck?
8) Don't be silly wrap your willy.
9) Today is yesterday's effect and tomorrow's cause
10) Only in America could a letter offering a prize of $10,000,000 be junk mail
11) Put love in circles not in hearts b/c hearts can break but circles go on 4ever
12) An argument is 2 peeps trying 2 get the last word in first!
13) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died
14) Sex is like math. Add a bed subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope u dont multiply!
15)If you are ashamed to stand by your colors you had best seek another flag!-I BELIEVE STRONGLY IN THIS QUOTE!
16)Money is like an arm - use it or lose it!
17)Boobs I bought them again~ Britney Queers!
18)There are 3 types of people in this world...those who can count and those who can't!
19)Live to Win Dare to Fail
20)Sex is like air it's only important when your not getting any.
21)Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
22) Kids in the backseat cause accidents...accidents in the backseat cause kids.
23)Diamonds are a girl's best friend. A dog is a man's best friend...now which is the smarter sex?
24)Guys are like stars, there are millions of them, but only 1 can make you dreams come true.
25)It's better to be hated for who you are then loved for what your not!
26)Roses are Red Violets are Blue God made me pretty he obviously skipped over u!
27)It's better to be pissed off than pissed on
28)The way I see it if you want to get to the rainbow you got to put up with the rain!
29)Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture but the hardest things to sell!
30)The Only thing that goes with the flow is a dead fish!
31)If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
32)Intelligence is like underwear, everyone should have it, but we shouldn't show it off.
33)Nothing makes your clothes go out of fashion faster than getting a raise.
34)There's too much blood in my alcohol system
35)Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
36)When the rich wage war, its the poor who die.
37)Are you a parking ticket? Because you have FINE written all over you!
38) Milk is good for the body, but dang how much did you drink?!?
39) An average guy cries once a month. I wonder what time of the month that is.
40) Help beautify our dumps Throw away something pretty
41)The best husband is an archaeologist..the older his wife gets the more intrested he is in her
42)To every young child out there salminella starts in the egg..that's right Humpty Dumpty was dead before he hit the ground..MOTHER GOOSE IS WRONG!
43) Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
44)Take it easy, and if you get it easy take it twice.(this one is mean, but I thought it was funny! Of course it doesn't pertain to me because I am not easy therefore I find it funny!)
45)Don't run your fingers over my truck and I won't run my truck over your fingers.
46)Too much sunshine makes a desert.
47)I RAN UP THE DOOR,CLOSED THE STAIRS,SAID MY PJ'S,PUT ON MY PRAYERS,TURNED OFF THE BED,AND JUMPED IN THE LIGHT,ALL BECUZ YOU KISSED ME GOODNIGHT!
48) A Nobel Peace Prize? I would KILL for one of those.
49)A wishbone can never replace a backbone.
50) A typical class in high school show up, get rid of your homework, get new homework, leave.
51) If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
52) If you take a dog in and feed it, it will remain loyal to you and never turn on you. this is the principle difference between a man and a dog.
53) It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
54) To a worm, digging in the hard ground is more relaxing than going fishing.
55) It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
56) A gentle stream can split a mountain, given enough time.
57) Sometimes a majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
58) There is an angel inside of me whom I am constantly shocking.
59) It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
60) I'm not cheap, but I AM on special this week.
61) People say I resemble a library book, I'm always getting checked out.
62)Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
63)I used to have a photographic memory, but it was never developed.
64)Boys are like buses, if you miss one, another one will be by in ten minutes.
65)If you don't think God has a good sense of humor, take a good look around you.
66)Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because it happend.
67)A true friend stabs you in the front.
68)I knew that someday when I looked back on the bad memories I would laugh, but I never thought that when I looked back on the good memories I would cry.
69) I get plenty of exercise...jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
70)You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
71)Growing old is mandatory, growing UP is optional!
72)Go ahead and judge me. Just keep the verdict to yourself.
73)If you paid more than $60,000 for your car, you automatically have the right of way, regardless of the situation. This is especially, applicable in parking lots.
74)I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
75)Honk if you love peace and quiet. (hahaha)Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, 'Where the heck is the ceiling'?
76)If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
77)If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
78)Follow your dreams...except for that one where you show up at school naked.
79)To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
80)It's mind over matter. I don't mind because you don't matter.
81)Life on earth is expensive, but at least it includes a free trip around the sun!
82) On the other hand, you have different fingers.
83)The next time someone says they are perfect, ask them to walk on water.
84)I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
85)Life is hard compared to what?
86)One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
87)Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time.
88)Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
89)Act weird and make them wonder...
90)I intend to live forever--so far, so good.
91)Hard work has a future. Laziness pays off now.
92)I'd stop eating chocolate but I'm no quitter.
93)Everyone has the ability of making someone happy some by entering a room, others by leaving it.
94)Always rember you're unique, just like everyone else.(hehe)
95)I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
96)Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, 'Where the heck is the ceiling'?
97)There's no need to have a fear of falling - it's the sudden stop at the bottom that warrants the fear.
98)I hope life isn't a joke because I don't get it.
99)Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy ...............but socially dead
100)It's better to be looked over than overlooked.
101)It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room temperature
102) How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on
103)I never get lost...I just change where it is that I want to go
104)Nothing is illegal until you get caught.
105)Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.
106)If most people said what's on their minds, they'd be speechless.
107)Don't eat fruits and nuts. You are what you eat
108) Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
109)"Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
110)"Life is cheap. It's the accessories that kill you."
111)Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
112)Some people make the world special just by being in it. |
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