ok every one ive changed my site baca baca ehh k shhhaha delete that... ok umm daniel's being an asshole and not typing what i............want.........ive completely changed my site so that i can put in random stuff i dont really know what im saying because i need to think about it...umm...ive changed it to...ive changed it to again because like...yeah... pfftheh...pssshhhkehnaeh...uht..*son of a bitch*...ive changed my site to essentail foreign swear words...so that when you go on holiday you can tell the locals to go fuck themselves...*twice*.. German: gehen Bumsen sich zweimal <-----Yeah we said it...grr... French: disparaissent la baise vous-même deux fois ><----..yeah Italian: va due volte la scopata voi stessi Spanish: va la cogida ustedes mismo dos veces well this will be fun ish. im going to keep the box below as a reminder to the old site RIP excuses wait im goin to keep the other box also as it kicks ass so all youre gettin is go fuck themselves...*twice*.and maby 'piss off' spanish:piss apagado En français: pisse au loin Auf deutsch: Piss weg in italiano: orina fuori >

1. miss i didnt come in to school today as the nextdoor naibers cat ait my gold fish then our dog ate the cat and was shot with an air rifel and have you ever dug a hole for a st burnard befor with a spoon 2. I didn't come to school yesterday because I was feeling like I was going to be sick, but thankfully I wasn't! 3. Oh, sorry [teachers name], the cafeteria food made me delirious. 4. I was late for class because the bell rang before I got here!! 5. i actually used this one:Teacher: Why don't you have your home work? You: I'm leading a protest on tree abuse, what did the trees ever do to you? 6. and this one:I got mugged on the way to school and they took my Bag with the homework in it. (It actually works!) 7: Use these incase you are late to school. 1) I got stuck in the elevator. 2) My Alarm clock didn't work. 3) I had to tinkle and it just took too long. 4) My mom forgot to wake me up. 5) Didn't You feel The Earthquake? 6)u cum in late for interval and the teacher asks why u were late , just say i was getting a number 2 and realised that there was no toilet role , and i was panackin and panackin until i sais , ' aww just leave it ' then just headed bac off to class , so ya know ! RING STING! 8. if the teacher askes you t talk to the class when you just started the school just say "i dont speak english" the if they say "but you just did" say "no i only know how to say i dont speak english in english" 9.*blank* was absent from school yesterday as she was mourning the death of the recently deceased hamster. hope you do well with these*;-) (it used to say kids there but i aint no pedo like jako) 10. I'm sorry Mr. / Mrs. __________ I really had to go to the bathroom and I would hate having to interrupt your lesson to leave such a great class and go then. 11.This homework excuse works real good. Teacher- Where is your homework? you- Well I was really hungry & it was the first thing I saw so I ate it. 12. My cat died and I was too sad to go to school. 13.I don't have my home work because my fish tank broke and soaked my room and my homework. 14. *on the fone* you :sorry i cant come into school today as im sick. teach: thats the thered time this week ho sick are you you:well...im in bed with my four year old sister 15. I don't have my home work because my Mom cut herself and I had to get some thing for her and the closest thing to her was my work so I tossed it to her and by the time I got the towel the work was ruined. 16.I am late to school because of that darn daylight savings time change. 17.Teacher: Are you chewing gum? You: (as you pretend to cough and when you cough you drop the gum into your hand) No I am not chewing on anything Teacher: Oh well then what's in your mouth? You: My teeth And after the teacher is done asking you about your gum, next time she turns her back toward you ,you hurry up and put the gum back in your mouth. 18.My homework ate my dog and it had to be put to sleep.*get all emotional*

. This actually happened!! One of my classmates was late for school one day. His excuse was that he was stuck behind a slow-driving semi. The funny part: He had the semi driver write him a note that said he was going slow...................................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................................. About a week ago I had to write an excuse for my son not having his homework. I wrote it on the outside of an envelope so I could put the leftover pieces inside, it said, "The dog ate my son's homework. Since I know this is a time-honored excuse, I put the leftover pieces inside. He did complete it though."...................................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................................. According to the art of Feung Shui, my desk was creating a negative energy space...so I ditched it. - My lawyer is advising me to respond "no comment" regarding the ware bouts of my alleged homework at this time. - My little sister used my Encarta CD as a teething ring...................................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................................. My favorite school excuse goes something like this (true story) Student: Honestly this time I have a good reason for not turning in my essay!! Teacher: I'm not surprised. Student: Yesterday I had to go sandbagging as a service project to help protect some of the homes by the foothills from the mudslides. We finished around 8PM but HAD to stay to be interviewed by 6 different television crews. Do you know how LONG it takes to do 6 different interviews in one night. Of course I taped the interviews for your convenience, and I'd appreciate it if you could accept it as my essay. Most importantly this excuse worked for all my classes. I even got extra credit on top of the essays/reports....................................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................................. i didnt do my homework as you say'd plese do ............ i thought it was optionall...................................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................................. (on the phone)fred from school as he is suffering from mild parkinsons and has to be tested for terrets as they both run in the family BITCH, BASTARED, HELL...................................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................................. Two true stories: Back in first grade we were one day doing a math test. I was never very fond of math back then, so I decided to give the teacher a hard time about me doing my work. I went on a math strike that day, by tearing my paper in half and pouting at my desk. The teacher tried to get me to do my work by saying if I did not do the work I would have to come back to the room after lunch and work on it during recess. Me, being the stubborn child I was, announced that I just wouldn't go to lunch and therefore would not have to do my work. Since I refused to budge from my desk when the other children went off to eat, the teacher had to call my Mom to come to the school and make me do my work! I never tried a work strike again, considering my mother grounded me when I got home from school that day....................................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................................. 2nd story: In 3rd grade I decided yet again not to do my work, but this time it was home work. My excuse for not doing it?? I told my teacher that I had either left it at home or something spilled on it and the paper was ruined, and I told my mom that we had no home work due to we had "field days" and other fun kid activities that the school planned for us during our class periods, so no homework was issued. This went on for about 2 weeks until my teacher finally got off his butt and called my mom to find out where my missing work was. I am amazed that both teacher and Mom fell for my lies for so long...................................................................................................................... ............................................................................................................................... Student to teacher: "Teacher will you get mad at me for something I didn't do?" Teacher: "No." Student: "Promise?" Teacher: "Yes." Student: "Ok, I didn't do my homework." (a work of pure crap )...................................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................................. My stepson had a problem with doing his homework in grade six, he had received a s tern warning about this and had promised that it would never happen again. Just a few days later he was found to have neglected his homework again, when confronted with his lack of home work he replied with out missing a beat that on his way home he had been walking through the gym and had slipped on some sweat and hit his head on the floor so he had forgotten to do his homework. The teacher was so impressed with his creativity that he telephoned us to tell us about it...................................................................................................................... ............................................................................................................................... Tell a teacher: I'm late to class because on the way here there was a fight and they thought it was me...................................................................................................................... ...............................................................................................................................When a teacher asks why you are late, just reply with the question, "Or is it possible that everyone else is early?"..................................................................................................................................................................................I was once late for school because I got such a fright when my alarm went off that I hit my head on the wall next to bed and knocked myself out. I woke up an hour later with a sore head and a lump the size of an egg.the teacher didnt belive me and i got a detention for lying and being late ........................................................................................................................................................................................I had left my D&T homework too late and decided to rush it the night before it was due. We had to visit our auntie as we hadn't seen her for ages. Well, during the three hour stay, our car was stolen - with my homework in it! My mum ended up writing a note to the teacher saying what had happened. He let me off due to the fact that it was the best excuse he had heard. He didn't believe me, but it actually happened..........................................................................................................................................................................I had just finished my homework, when I decided to try to divide something by zero. This resulted in my book catching fire. .......................................................................................................................................................................I can't come into school today because it's against my religious principles...................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................... "I'm not Late I'm just early for tomorrow!!" ......................................................................................................................................................................The reason I don't have my big, important project, which I put off for the last night goes like this: Last night when I was finishing up my homework, my dog came over and threw-up on my homework and then ate it. When I was trying to get him to barf it back up, 12 shiny leprechauns came crashing through my wall on magical unicorns. Then they stole my dog and tried to get away over a beautiful rainbow, but I grabbed my dog's leg just in time. Unfortunately then, the leprechauns sprinkled some magic pixie dust and then a giant alien mother ship took the leprechauns and unicorns along with my dog and took them off to Neverland, where they can fly freely with peter pan and the lost-boys forever. (and michel packson) .....................................................................................................................................................................