Miscellaneous - http://phatbowling.com/starfire7s/NEW

The Silly Drunk

A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At
closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar,
trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for
five minutes.

When he finally gets in, it takes him another five
minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile,
everybody else leaves the bar and drives off.

When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for
him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer
test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol
level of 0.0.

The cop says, 'How is this possible?'

The guy says, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

+++++

A man was visiting his "girlfriend" when her husband
came home unexpectedly. Thinking quickly, the
girlfriend covered him with dusting powder and said
hurriedly, "Pretend you are a statue! Don't make a
sound and I'll do something as soon as I can!"

The husband walks in, looks the statue up and down
and asks, "What's that and, where did it come from?"

"Oh, it's a new statue. Katy, next door has one and
I liked it a lot so I got one, too."

They spend a quiet evening together, have dinner,
watch tv, and are reading in bed when the wife goes
to the bathroom around 3 A.M. The gets up, goes to
the kitchen and comes back with a ham sandwich and a
cold glass of milk. Handing it to the statue, he
says, "Here. I stood all night at Katy's and no one
bothered to offer me a thing!"

+++++

*I don't usually like the jokes circulating about
Bill and Monica but thought this was cute. (I have
taken the opportunity to rearrange it a little)

The President and Ms. Lewinski

President Clinton died and found himself face to face
with the devil, who is grinning at him as he says,

"Well, I've been waiting for you. Since you held a
special position while on earth I've decided to let
you choose where you spend eternity. Follow me."
He then led Bill into a large room with three closed
doors and advised him,

"I'm going to let you choose which room you want to
spend eternity in so give it careful thought and
choose wisely."

They entered door #1 and Bill saw a group of lawyers,
all who were being taunted by huge, frightning demons.
Bill said he didn't want to spend eternity here.

Room #2 was filled with molten lava running down the
walls on all sides and spewing forth from the center.
A large group of ex-congressmen were screaming and
running around like crazy trying to avoid the lava.
Bill said he did NOT wan to spend eternity here.

They enter room #3 where sits Bill Starr, all kicked
back with a goofy look on his face. Ms. Monica is
kneeling, performing the oral thing. Bill's face
lights up and he proclaims loudly,

"Well hey, now this is more like it. THIS is where
I choose to spend MY eternity!"

Satan grins maniacly and barks, "Okay, Monica, you
can leave now. Your reliefs here!"

+++++

Starfire7s@aol.com

Smile......Jesus love you!

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Page Updated Sun Jan 31, 1999 7:24am EST