Sunday Night War - Written By Issues - Wrestling - http://phatbowling.com/rmwfarchives/Sunday_Night

(The camera comes up backstage where a limo is pulling up. The driver gets out and opens the rear door, Nightmare gets out and walks into the arena. As he's walking through the backstage area Iceman runs up.)

Iceman: Hey Nightmare, you'll never guess what's happened!

Nightmare: What?
I
ceman: Issues has trashed our locker room!

Nightmare: He didn't nick the gay porn of mine did he?

Iceman: No!

Nightmare: Take me there, I need to think of a way to get back at him.

(The credits roll and Sunday War starts. The theme music plays loudly and the fans go wild as explosions erupt all around the stadium. The camera cuts to the announcer's table.)

Sid: Hello and welcome to Sunday Night War! I'm Sid 'The King' Nasty here with Guy Mandell as usual, on a night when all hell will surely break loose!

(The camera cuts to backstage where Issues is sat in his office drinking a beer. Just then Nightmare storms in kicking the door down on the way. Issues doesn't move at all even though Nightmare is right in his face.)

Nightmare: Issues, what the hell do you think you're doing trashing my locker room!? I'm gonna kick your fucking head in you shit head!

Issues: If you touch me, I'll fire you right here on the spot.

Nightmare: Oh yeah? I'll just rejoin, I've made a living out of using people, just like that idiot prez here, I've got him wrapped round my little finger!

Issues: Well I'll tell you what, how about you turn round and tell me what you see?

(Nightmare turns around and sees a dark clothed man armed with a sledge hammer.)
Nightmare: Who the........?

(The mystery man smashes the sledge hammer into Nightmare's head laying him out on the ground. Issues stands over Nightmare and laughs in his face. When the camera comes back up, the mystery man is gone. The camera cuts back to the announcer's table.)

Sid: Who the hell was that?

Guy: I dunno but whoever it was did a real number on Nightmare.

Sid: Now we're ready for our first match of the night, Fightin' Falcon vs. Test.

Fighting Falcon vs. Test Guy: Both men are in the ring so here we go.

Sid: Test stands taller and heavier than Fighting Falcon but he's gotta be slower.

Guy: They grapple, Test easily knocks Falcon, he gets back up and tries to punch Test but he ducks and lays into Falcon with a succession of right punches. Test bounces him off the ropes, Falcon ducks under the arm and comes off the ropes with a head scissors takedown. Test is back up, Falcon with a dropkick sends Test into the turnbuckle.

Sid:Falcon follows it with a stinger splash and catches Test with a monkey toss as he comes out of the corner.

Guy: Falcon stomps Test down, now he picks him up and body slams him down!

Sid: Falcon is on the top rope, high risk move coming up!

Guy: Falcon with a moonsault, Test moves!

Sid: Now Test is back up, Falcon is staggering up too! Test is lining himself up, lookout Falcon, he gets a big boot to the head!

Guy: Cover by Test, 1.......2......kickout by Fighting Falcon.

Sid: Test looks kind of annoyed, he picks Falcon up, Gorilla Press coming up!

Guy: Falcon rakes Test's eyes, he drops down infront of Test, Small Package by Falcon! 1.......2......3!!

Sid: He got him, and Test looks pissed!

Guy: Test just booted Falcon, Diving Powerbomb!

Sid: The crowd are booing, what a poor show of sportsmanship!

Guy: This is the RMWF, that doesn't matter.

Sid: Oh yeah.

Winner: Fighting Falcon COMMERCIAL BREAK
(The camera comes up backstage with nightmare being helped down the corridor by Iceman. Just then a massive speaker crashes to the ground inches behind Iceman and Nightmare, and the sound of laughter can be heard. Nightmare looks really scared as the camera goes back to the announcer's table.)

Guy: Nightmare was lucky to escape there, I guess Issues or whoever that was is really serious about ending nightmare once and for all.

Sid: Yeah well nightmare is asking for it.

Guy: Well anyway it's time for the all alliance match.

Faarooq vs. Iceman (The alliance's music hits and Faarooq comes down to the ring. A few seconds later a shook up Iceman follows him down. They both enter the ring and the bell is rung.)

Sid: Faarooq attacks first with a kick to the chest and a couple of punches, he bounces Iceman off the ropes and hot shots him over the ropes!

Guy: Iceman is holding his neck and rightly so after that last maneuver!

Sid:Faarooq picks Iceman up, whips him into the turnbuckle and tries to follow it with a splash but Iceman gets a boot up, staggering Faarooq back! He charges out of the corner with a clothesline sending Faarooq down.

Guy: What's happening now? Hey look Issues is coming down to the ring with a chair! What's he gonna do?

Sid: He just called the referee over, my god he hit the referee with a chair!

Guy: Now Issues is in the ring, he just clocked Iceman with the chair, and now Faarooq too! I guess he's sending a message to the alliance!

Sid: He's counting them down!? 1......2......3!

(Issues grabs a mic.)

Issues: And the winner of the match as a result of a double knock-out, ISSUES!

Winner: Issues
Guy: My god Issues declared himself the winner and the crowd is going wild!

Sid: Now issues is leaving, what can the alliance do to retaliate!?
COMMERCIAL BREAK

Guy: We're back, now you have to wonder what can the alliance do to retailiate against Issues becuase he's certainly put the shits into Nightmare tonight.

Sid: He deserves everything he gets, I've always hated nightmare and this hope that this is only the the beginning of his torment.

Guy: I've been told we have an interview with Issues, so let's go backstage.

(The camera cuts to backstage where Clive Anderson is stood with Issues.)

Clive: Now tonight we have seen several attacks on nightmare and the alliance in general, the question on everyone's lips is...why?

Issues: Well it's very simple, nightmare has whined and moaned for months about how I've treated him, the fact is he's brought this on himself. So to answer your question, I did it because he pisses me off and he has to learn not to fuck with me.

Clive: Do you have anything else in store for him tonight?

Issues: What kind of stupid question is that? Take this you fat fuck!

(Issues punches Clive laying him out, then he storms out. The camera focusses on Clive for a moment then goes back to the announcer's table.)

Sid: Well I guess Issues didn't want to answer any questions, so on with the next match.

Insider vs. Ashura (The alliance's music hits and Insider comes out to a chorus of boos. He enters the ring and waits for his opponent. Then there's the sound of a short circuit and Ashura comes out and down to the ring. She rolls in and goes straight for Insider as the bell sounds.)

Guy: Ashura with a spear takes Insider down, now she lays into him with rights and lefts! Ha ha he's being beaten up by a girl!

Sid: She picks him up and bounces him off the ropes, slam! She takes him down with a big clothesline! Ashura continues the punishment with a series of stomps and a running leg drop off the ropes! Now Insider staggers back up to his feet, Ashura tries a suplex but Insider reverses it, reverse DDT by Insider!

Guy: Ashura is straight back up, Insider uses his bigger size to knock Ashura into the corner with a shoulder charge, now it's insider stomping a mudhole in Ashura, choke tosses her back into the centre of the ring! Insider bounces off the ropes, sunset flapjack sends Ashura's head crashing into the mat!

Sid: Insider picks Ashura up, whips her into the corner.

Guy: Stinger splash coming up, no Ashura gets out of the way, she quickly grabs Insider's head and slams it into the turnbuckle! She quickly goes to the top rope, catches Insider with a double axe handle as he gets up, and Ashura can get back in control!

Sid: That's the thing about Ashura, she's very methodical, very well trained she takes her time in the ring and slowly wears her opponent down till she can strike and finish it.

Guy: Don't ever say anything as ridiculous as that again.

Sid: Sorry.

Guy: Ashura picks Insider up, shoulder breaker sends him back down, she picks him back up and delivers a devastating cradle piledriver!

Sid: Cover by Ashura, 1.....2....how the fuck did he kick out of that!?!?!?

Guy: Dunno but Ashura looks pissed. She's setting him up for the dreaded Dark Side Demiser!

Sid: Cover by Ashura, 1.......2......3!!!

Winner: Ashura Guy: Chalk up another victory for Ashura.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Sid: Well we're ready for the main event, Nightmare is in the ring, but we still don't know who his opponent is gonna be.

Nightmare vs. ????
('It's all about the game' by Motorhead hits the PA, the fans go wild as Issues comes out with a mic.)

Issues: You're all probably wondering who nightmare's opponent is. Well I'll tell you, it's not going to be a normal match. You have to go through a couple of people before you get to me. So let me introduce to you the first opponent, Frank Butcher!

(The 'Eastenders' theme hits the PA and Frank Butcher comes out to a deafening round of applause. He walks down to the ring and goes straight for nightmare.)

Guy: What the fuck? This is fucking ridiculous.

Sid: Frank swings for Nightmare but he ducks and low blows Frank. Nightmare goes outside the ring and grabs a chair, he rolls back in.

Guy: He's just waiting for fat frank to get back up!

Sid: Frank gets back up, nightmare swings but Frank punches the chair knocking nightmare down. Now frank is laughing in his face!

Frank: Whaddya take me for, a double yolker!

Guy: Fat old people piss me off.

Sid: What's happening now, Frank's starting to cry!

Frank: Pat....Pat....whaddya done to me pat!?!?

Guy: Nightmare gets back up, school boy on Frank, 1......2.....3!

Frank Butcher is eliminated Sid: Who's next?

('Real American' hits the PA, the fans boo and jeer as Hollywood Hogan comes out. He listens to the crowd and points down at nightmare in that poncy way he always does.)

Guy: Hogan rolls into the ring and catches a series of right hands which send him into the turnbucke. Nightmare whips him across the ring and delivers a corner clothesline which sends Hogan down. Now nightmare picks him back up but Hogan attacks first with a couple of punches.

Sid: He bounces Nightmare off the ropes, big boot by Hogan!

Guy: He's given the signal, leg drop coming up!

Sid: Hogan off the ropes, but nightmare moves out of the way of the hogan leg drop!!

Guy: Nightmare picks Hulk up, lookout Sweet Dream Powerbomb coming up, he got him!

Sid: Cover by Nightmare, 1......2.....no, Hogan kicked out!

Guy: Oh fucking hell he's doing that stupid stomping around thing and shaking!

Sid: Nightmare tries to punch him but no effect, Nightmare is looking scared!

Guy: Hogan with several big punches sends Nightmare flying back against the ropes, another big boot by Hogan! The Hulkster comes off the ropes, he lands the leg drop! 1......2.....now nightmare kicks out!

Sid: Hogan is starting to shake, he can't belive nightmare got up!

Guy:Now he's just being a prat, listening to the crowd. Somebody kill this wanker.

Sid: Nightmare has left the ring, he's got a sledgehammer. Lookout, he just knocked Hogan's head right off!

Hulk Hogan is eliminated
(The 'neighbours' theme hits the PA, the fans go wild as fat Harold Bishop walks out looking highly pissed off with his five chins wobbling. He's wearing a tank top and some nice courdelroy slacks. He enters the ring and salutes the crowd as nightmare gets ready to attack.)

Guy: Nightmare lays into Harold but he blocks and scoop slams nightmare. He tries for a splash but Nightmare moves. Harold gets back up in time to be knocked into the turnbuckle by a shoulder charge. Nightmare punches Harold's fat belly but of course it has no effect!

Sid: Harold with a headbutt, he follows it up with a big leg drop! 1...quick kickout by Nightmare. Bishop picks him up and bounces him off the ropes, but nightmare comes back with a spinning heel kick almost sending Harold crashing to the canvas!

Guy: You can't knock this guy over, he reminds me of Steve Eggs. My god that guy was one fat fucker.

Sid: Damn sure.

Guy: Nightmare off the ropes, clotheslines Harold but he still doesn't go down!

Sid: Nightmare tries it again, but my god Bishop caught him and delivered a crushing belly-to-belly suplex!

Guy: Now Harold has given the high sign, he's gonna do a massive splash on Nightmare!!

Sid: Harold off the ropes, nightmare moves! Now nightmare staggers back up, he's stomping Harold into the ground, this is gonna be a massacre!

Guy: Hey look, Issues is coming down to the ring with a chair, nightmare has seen him and he's mouthing off at him!

Sid: Lookout, chair shot by Issues on Nightmare!

Guy: Nightmare is down, Harold Bishop bounces off the ropes, splash by Harold Bishop! 1......2......3!!

Winner: Harold Bishop
Sid: Issues just hit harold with the chair too, he's on the second turnbuckle celebrating.

Guy: Well folks that's all we have time for this week on Sunday Night War! For Sid 'The King' Nasty I'm Guy Mandell saying goodfight, goodnight!

(The camera fades out showing issues celebrating.)

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT