RMWF Forever - Wrestling - http://phatbowling.com/rmwfarchives/RMWF

The camera pans highly over a brightly lit futuristic city skyline. As it zooms closer to the growingly noisier city, it shows hovering billboards and traffic lights, various cars flying through the traffic airways as well. The camera continues to decend it's focus even deeper, between the city's skyscrapers and suddenly passes beneath a mini-atmosphere of smoke and air pollution to a darker part of the city, populated with even more flying cars and noise. Still no surface in site the camera changes it's path to an adjacent building and begins to zoom in towards one of the many lit windows. The lens passes through to the otherside of the window, which is a surprizigly large apartment furnished in a early twenty-first century decor and filled with an assortment of antique wrestling Belts of the same time period as the furnishings, which hang upon the walls. On the far side of the room is a reclined leather chair in which an elderly man, who is watchin a holograpic news broadcast that is projected before him, is seated. His attention is drawn away from his reading when a small boy enters the room and calls out to him.

Boy " Grampa.. I.. I can't sleep "

The man sits up and shuts off the projected telecast.

Man " Well, what's seems to be the matter Benjamin? "

A troubled expression crosss the child's face as he moves closer to his grandfather.

Boy " The-there's a monster in my closet module "

The old man smiles both sympathetically yet amused and leans forward as the boy approaches him.

Man " Now you know there's no such thing as monsters.. "

The boy continues to look worried.

Man " Computer, display security visual of room number three, section C. "

A holographic image of a dark closet cluttered with various toys appears before the two and the man starts pointing things out in it.

Man " I don't see any monsters in there Benjamin. Do you? "

The little boy, disappointed yet releaved replies, " No.. I don't guess so "

The man smiles and says " Then don't you think yo should had back to bed? It's pretty late you know.. "

The boy doesn't look to comforted by that suggestion but still turns around and starts inching his way back to the doorway.

Man " Well.. I dont think it would hurt anyone if you stayed up just a little bit longer "

The child spins back around and runs over hs grand father and gives him a hug. The old man grins, then whispers " Just don't let your mother know I let you stay up this late, she'd have my head! "

Boy " Deal "

Man " Well.. I'll let yo stay up only a hour later. You want to watch some TV? "

Boy " Nah "

Man " How bout your new Final Fantasy XXVII game? "

The boy shakes his head.

Man " Hmmm.. Well what do you want to do then? "

The boy smiles from ear to ear then jumps up on his grandfather's lap. The old man exageratedly groans.

Boy " Tell me a story!!! "

Man " I don't think I know any stories Benjamin "

Boy " Yes you do!! "

The elderly man teases " I don't know.. My memories not so good "

Boy " Tell me more about the RMWF!!! "

The man chuckles to himself.

Man " You like them stories huh? "

The boy nods over-enthusiasticaly.

Boy " Uh-huh "

The old man puts his arm around his grandson then gazes around the room with a pondering look on his face until his eyes fall on a particular Belt on the wall.

Man " Let's see.. Did I ever tell you the one about when The Vine had to face Rebel to defend his IC Belt? "

Boy bounces up and down on his grandfather's lap " No!!! Tell me that one!! Tell me that one!! "

The elderly man chuckles at the young boy's enthusiasm then says " Shhh!! You'll wake up your mother "

The boy frowns appoligetically, " I'm sorry.. I'll be quiet. I promise "

Man " Alright then, 'The Vine verse Rebel for the Intercontinental Title' is it? "

The boy replies loudly " Yeah!! ", then winces and at a lower volume " I mean, yeah "

Chuckling, the grandfather begins his tale..

Man " The Vine had been away for awhile, during his absence there were many who had been complaining to the Prez for a shot against him for his IC Belt. Obviously though a champ can't very well fight if he's on vacation, so everyone waited impatintly until he finally returned. When he did, the priviledge of the Title shot befell Rebel, who coincedentaly had also been away shortly until not long before that match.. "

The scene begins to blend as the story progresses to that of what the grandfather is describing to his grandson. Portrayed is a large arena filled with thousands of screaming fans. In the arena's center is a wrestling ring that has a catwalk leading from it to a large doorway. Beside the ring is an announcer's table where two men are seated, while bordering said doorway is a gigantic television monitor, or a 'Titan-Tron' as it was generally called in those days.

The first announcer's name was Guy Mandel who was both a professional and a gentleman, though at times could be boring. He always did the opening announcements

Guy " Good evening folks and welcome to The Meadowland's Arena in New Jersey for what is bound to be yet another great RMWF PPV!!! Here with me as ever is SiD 'The King' Nasty.. Tonight we have a great show instored "

SiD " I doubt that.. These show's always suck "

Sid was the anti-thesus of Guy. He was a rude announcer who always interupted Guy and critizized everything and everyone. He wasn't without his charm however. It was his and Guy's conflicting styles and personalities that gave The RMWF's shows both humar and it's trademark style of chaos. That's right, it was hard work on the staff's part to make it look like they didn't know what was going on. Rest assured though that they always did.

Guy " Well our show kicks off with an IC Title shot featuring Rebel against our current Champ, The Vine!!!! Now over to the ring as the match is about to begin "

The arena's lights dim and the 'Titan-tron' shows Rebel's name being spray painted across a brickwall. The wall explodes then strobelights coming flickering on and Rebel comes running out of the doorway and down to the ring. The sound of the crowd cheering his name is soon drowned out however when 'Thong Song' by a long since forgetton band blasts over the PA system. With the song, a montage of video clips highlighting The Vine's past victories flashes over the 'Titan-tron'. The camera zooms up the catwalk a moment before explosions of green fire erupt along the sides of the doorway. When the explosion's smoke subsides The Vine comes struting out with the IC Belt draped over his shoulder and the crowd cheers wildly. Rebel looks at him from the ring with an eagerness to break the man and claim that Belt for himself, as The Vine hands his Belt over to then porn-star Jenna Jameson, who was the ring girl at the time.

Guy " Wow!! Both wrestlers look anxious for the match to begin.. They're just pasing back and forth shooting each other with dirty looks waiting for the bell to ring.. And there it is!!! The two immediately lock-up!!! The Vine manages a snapmare to start the fight!!! Rebel leaps back up and retaliates with a a sidewalk slam then slaps on a stump puller!!!! "

SiD " I think Rebel's dry humping him!!!! "

Guy " No he isn't!!!! "

SiD " How do you know??? He could be "

Guy " The Vine throws Rebel a European uppercut that sends him reeling several steps back!!! The Vine follows with a spinning wheel kick which drives his opponent into the turnbuckle!!! The Vine charges him but Rebel sidesteps and slams his head into the turnbuckle!!! "

Rebel stepped back to the center of the ring and held his arms out, absorbing the cheers the crowd was now giving him.

SiD " What a cocky bastard.. Is it true Rebel joined the New X-Treme Inc.??? "

Guy " Huh??? What are you talking about??? "

SiD " I heard that that scumbag Pig Vomit had offered Rebel a membership in the stable "

Guy " Where did you hear that??? "

SiD " I was snooping around the Prez's office and saw a memo or something "

Guy " Well Idon't know anything aboutthat. You shouldn't be snooping around the Prez's office either "

SiD " I'll do whatever I want to do Guy.. I am The King!!!! "

Both these men share the same level of wrestling know-how.. It could be anyones win "

SiD " So you say.. If you ask me though The Vine looks a little rusty. I think the time he spent away on vacation instead of practicing is taking it's toll on him "

Guy " Perhaps.. The Vine is still one of this fed's best wrestlers though.. I think it would take more than a few weeks off for him to forget how to wrestle "

SiD " Tell that to Rebel.. He's stradling The Vine and punching the crap out of him!!!! He climbs off his opponent and grabs him by his long, green luxuious hair and pulls him to his feet.. He slaps an an abdominal stretch.. Still think The Vine didn't get out of shape while on vacation???? "

Guy " Maybe.. The Vine falls to his knees and Rebel goes for a.. Ooooh!!! The Vine just gave him an uppercut to the groin!!! The Vine gets up off his knees as Rebel falls to his, cupping his genitals. The Vine punches him in the back of the head.. And again!!! He grabs Rebel's arm and pulls him to his feet.. The Vine whips him into the ropes.. Rebel rebounds and The Vine.. Rebel slides between The Vine's legs!!!! He slaps on a tiger suplex for the pin!!!! The ref rushes over and begins the count..1.. The Vine's squirming to get loose.. but he can't!!! 3!!!

Rebel then stood up and the ref raised his hand in the air.

Ref " The winner of this match, and the NEW RMWF Intercontinental Champion.. REBEL!!! "

The crowd began cheering Rebel's name wildly as The Vine exited the ring with a disgusted look on his face. As he walked out the doorway, ring girl, Jenna Jamison walked out of it then down to the ring. A few catcalls and declaration of love for Jenna came from the audience as she awarded Rebel with his hard earned Belt.

Man " ..And that's how Rebel won the IC Belt off of The Vine back in the spring of '01 "

boy " WOW!!! "

Man " Well.. Time for bed young man! "

boy " Awwww... But I'm not tired "

The little boy crosses his ars and starts pouting. Th grandfather smirks then musses the boy's hair.

Man " Well.. I guess there's enough time for one more story.. but then it's off to bed young man!!! "

Boy " Okay!!! "

The boy curls back up against his grandfather as he continues with another tale of twenty-first century wrestling.

Man " There was this Scottish wrestler named Grant Turner, or 'Neep' as he liked to be called. He had been with the RMWF for a very long time, had held the World Title as well as several of the fed's other Titles, he was the leader of the Prez's corporate stable and was even Lt. K'mish for a little while. He had a Tag Team named 'The Bravehearts' with his faithful friend, sidekick and fellow Scotsman, Fraser Newlands. Now, Fraser was one of the fed's worst and lowest ranked wrestlers ever. In fact, he had even won an Award for The RMWF's Worst Wrestler. Anyway though, it had been rumored that these two men were secretly gay lovers. So much in fact, that it had become an on-going joke among both the other wrestlers and staff alike. For some unknwn reason though these two friends and tag partners always wanted matches against each other. I had been told once it was what they considered foreplay "

Boy " What's 'fourplay'??? "

Man " Ummm.. I'll tell you when your older "

The boy scoffs in a grumpy manor as the man continues.

Man " Anyway, like I said before though, Neep and Fraser Newlands's homosexuality was only speculated so to this day I still don't know for sure what all was going on between those two, nor do I even want to. I remember though this one occasion where they fought each other, Neep surprised as all in it.. "

The camera again blends into a scene from the past as the elderly man recounts his story of an RMWF match.

SiD " What the hell is this crap??? How many times these people gonna fight each other??? I mean Neep and Fraser Newlands have fought each other about 50 times... Why does The Prez keep booking them??? "

Guy " I think it's gonna become a standard match on all PPV's "

SiD " Really??? Oh wait did you just make a joke??? Look out the arena's gonna cave in on us "

Guy " POOH, the match is about to start.. Neep and Fraser shake hands then hug.. Ahhh.. good sportsmanship is nice. "

SiD " I think Neep just grabbed Fraser's ass.. No wonder why they fight each other so much "

Guy " Why's that??? "

SiD " To get all that sexual tention out "

Guy " Heh.. For the record though.. Neep and Fraser Newlands are not offically gay. that begin said though let's continue to the match "

The bell rang and the match started with both men locking up.

Guy " Fraser comes out on top with an arm bar but Turner quickly reverses it.. Neep slams Fraser down to the mat renching his arm.. "

SiD " That looked painfull "

Guy " But Fraser hops back up to his feet and takes Neep down know with some kind of rolling manuever "

SiD " You know since your job is to call the matches it might help if you learn the names of the moves "

Guy " Do you know the name of that move??? "

SiD " No "

Guy " Then leave me alone.. Fraser with a shooting star press.. Only to get wrapped up by Neep in a leg scissors "

SiD " See Neep likes those moves because it puts his opponents faces close to his crotch "

Guy " Hmmmm.. Maybe.. Fraser rolling out of the head scissors now recieves a right hand from Neep.. The match turns from technical to brutal as Fraser head butts Neeps groin area "

SiD " Small target "

Guy " Bad joke "

SiD " Touche` "

Guy " Neep rolls around in pain as Fraser Newlands proceeds to try and stomp his brains in.. Neep dodges one blow but catches the second one square on the chin.. The ref warns Fraser about stomping on Neep but he just pushes him out of the way and continues to do so.. Neep scurrys out of the ring and looks at Fraser like he is crazy, throwing his hands in the air like he is saying ' What are you trying to kill me??? ' "

SiD " No.. he is saying ' My flower why do you try to hurt me??? ' "

Guy " Neep climbs back into the ring pointing his finger at Fraser who charges with a blood curtling scream.. Turner ducks Fraser's attack and flips him over his back outside of the ring.. Neep to the top rope and here he comes with a flying Scotsman that knocks Fraser down into the Cuban announcers table!!!! "

SiD " We're broadcasted in Cuba.. Isn't that breaking some sorta trading embargo??? "

Guy " Probably, but you know The Prez will do anything to make a buck.. Neep with a drop kick sends Fraser stumbling over the steal barricade and the fans go into a fury, touching him and molesting him.. Fraser fights them off only to be nailed by a round house kick from Neep before he goes back into the ring!!! Neep helps Fraser back into the ring via a suplex over the ropes!!! Fraser struggles to escape Neep but Neep slaps on a leg lock!!! Fraser is reaching.. reaching.. NO!!! Neep yanks him back away from the ropes then slams his knee into the mat!!!! Fraser still trying to grab the ropes but Neep smartley keeps him away "

SiD " Would the fruit cake give up already!!!! "

Guy " Not gonna happen.. Fraser makes a last ditch effort and grabs the ropes forcing Neep to break the hold but not before he gives him a knee to the back!!! Neep walks away with his hands in the air and Fraser gets up.. However, he is hobbling around really bad.. Neep spins around quickly and takes down Fraser with a Russian foot sweep!!! Now Newlands goes to work on his hurt leg "

SiD " Fraser looks to be in a lot of pain!!! "

Guy " Neep with an elbow drop to Fraser's knee, cover but Fraser gets off a punch to the face before the ref can count to one!!! Fraser and Neep both on the mat as Newlands gets Neep into a headlock!!! He picks him off the mat then delivers a front face suplex!!! Fraser in control now but is still favoring his one leg.. "

SiD " Goddammit is this thing ever gonna end??? "

Guy " The match rages on as Fraser Newlands flings Neep across the ring with an airplane spin!!! Now he slaps on a Boston Crab!!!! "

SiD " Fraser is trying to beat Neep with his own strong point.. A submission move.. Was this suppose to be some kind of specialty match??? "

Guy " I don't believe so. If it was The Prez forgot again "

SiD " I thought Spider-Man was in charge of this show "

Guy " He is.. For some reason though the Prez requested to help in running this match "

SiD " Oh.. The Prez just likes queers if you ask me "

Guy " Neep still has not tapped out or given up as Fraser applies more pressure "

SiD " So you see any good movies latley??? "

Guy " Nah don't go to the movies much "

SiD " Yeah I forgot your wierd you like to read "

Guy " What a sin, huh??? Fraser's face is turning red as he uses all his strength trying to make Neep submit "

SiD " The fucker just won't give up though.. I have to give him propts for this "

Guy " The ref just called for the bell??? I don't think I saw Neep give up.. Fraser lets go and is celebrating his win over his tag partner "

SiD " Watch out.. Neep is flipping out on the ref.. He just power bombed him!!!! "

Guy " Now he grabbing the mic "

Neep " THE MATCH IS NOT OVER!!! I never gave up!!!! Fraser get back in this ring!!! "

Guy " Fraser does the smart thing and gets the hell out of there as Neep nails the ref with the mic. "

Then Neep did something quite unexpected, he abused his limited power.

Neep " As the head of The Prez's corporate stable I fire you.. You can't fucking end people's matches if they did not give up!!! YOU STUPID FUCKING BASTARD!!! What is your name???? "

Neep put the mic in the ref's face and he choked out his name.

Neep " Well ref # 1 YOU ARE FIRED !!!! Get your shit and get outta here ! "

Man " Neep had always been known as a gentleman and all around nice guy. The fans were all in shock when he attacked the ref for making a wrong ruling, I was surprised too. I mean hell, I didn't know the the guy had it in him. There were repercutions for his actions however. I can't remember them though, but that incident didn't get brushed aside like most would. The immediatly following Neep's match, there was one for the TV Belt, which wasn't a very exciting one. In fact.. I can't really remember anything about it other than the fact that Farooq beat Diablo for it. Alot of The RMWF's matches were like that.. Boring and forgetable "

Surprise crosses the boy's face.

Boy " Really??? "

Man " Yeah.. Well every match couldn't be filled with the intinsity which made the RMWF notorious. Surprizing as it may sound, there were actually those who merely wanted a simple, 'by the books' wrestling match. Those were the few whom obviuosly had joined the wrong fed. "

The boy nods in agreement.

Man " Not that Diablo or Farooq fit that discription.. They just didn't put much effort in that match I'm assuming.. Had they, their match would've been more memorable. "

The boy nods again.

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT