Friday Night Slam 10-22-00 - Wrestling - http://phatbowling.com/rmwfarchives/10_20_00_Friday_Night

The all NEW , all theme matches , Friday Night Special brought to you in annoying LIME GREEN !!!

" This is Guy Mandel here in East Rutherford NJ with my partner SiD " the King " Nasty , Clive Anderson and the rest of The RMWF crew welcoming you to another Friday Night Special !!! First we have Bad Andy standing by in the meat locker where the Eskimo / Rodent , Icicle Match is taking place ... "

( The Camera shot switches to a meat lcoker where Bad Andy is doing something very bad to a piece of meat ... )

Guy's voice " ANDY , YOUR ON !!! "

Andy " Oh , oh sorry .. Hello , this is Bad Andy in The RMWF meat locker .. Tonight both new comers Eskimo and Rodent will be locked in here , in the freezing cold , 'till one man is left standing . As you can see there is a lot of meat in here plus some of the bodies of ex-RMWF wrestlers .. Right here we see the body of The Master one of the latest victims to not honor his contract . Man is the police ever got in here , whooo hooo . Now over to Clive Anderson .. "

" This is Clive Anderson standing on the indoor basketball court surronded with weapons . Kid Money will be meeting Neep in here for the Intercontinetal Belt which is hanging right up there ... "

( Clive points as the camera swoops to a shot of a basketball net with The IC Belt laying on top of it ... )

Clive " The first man to reach that belt gets to keep it and be the IC champ .. Now back to Guy and Sid .. "

SiD " Well the steal cage is up and we are ready for our first match ... "

Blade -vs- Ryder
Guy " Even though Ryder may have quit he is fightning this match .. "

SiD " MMMM I woner who is gonna win ??? "

Guy " Babies all friggen babys , they lose one match and quit ... "

SiD " Good that bastard was ugly anyway ..."

Guy " Thats probably why he quit , you calling him ugly last Friday ... Both men are in the ring and the cage door is closed ... Ryder starts the match off by gettin his head rammed into the cage ... "

SiD " By Blade the man in black , heh ... "

Guy " Ryder is being consistant as his head is rammed into the cage repeatitly ... Blade draws first blood of the night as this one looks over before it started ..."

SiD " Ugh yes , Ryder beat Blade early in there careers here in The RMWF but Blade has come back with a vengeance ... "

Guy " Power bomb by Blade , then he follows up with a piledriver ... Ryder not fightning back I think he was out from that first head blow ..."

SiD " Well , we know he can't die as we do not own the rights to his name .."

Guy " What ??? Anyway Blade is on the top rope now and dives landing ontop of Ryder .. Ryder still not moving as Blade walks out of the steal cage no problem to win the
match ..."

Winner : Blade
SiD " Well thats the last time we will see Ryder ever again and thank god who wants to see that ugly mug anyway ..."

Guy " Well , good bye to Ryder , he had potential but he was another baby in a long history of babies ... Thanks for waisting our time !!!"

SiD " Yeah , hold on I'm gonna fix his ass ..."

Guy " Where are you going ??? SiD , is helping Ryder out of the ring ... He doesn't look to good right now ... OH MAN SiD just pushed Ryder down the steps and he's getting a chair and the mic ..."

SiD " YOU UGLY BASTARD , DON'T COME BACK !!! I'M SICK OF YOU PEOPLE WAISTING OUR TIME !!! GO BACK TO WHERE EVER YOU CAME FROM !!!"

Guy " Lets go over to Andy as SiD beats Ryder with that chair ..."

( We see a camera shot of The RMWF meet locker ... Inside is a bunch of hanging meet and dead bodies ... As the camera scans through we see the bodies of old RMWF greats like The Quizmaster , Millenium ( who was he again ) and Scorpian King ... Well ok maybe they weren't great but it was fun watching them die ... Andy stands over some packaged meet poking it with his little finger .. )

Andy " This said venison on it , I think this is Bambii The RMWF's first champ !!! No loyalty here Guy , I'm scarred ... We never had anything like this in The Domino's
freezer ... "

Guy " Why do you think me and SiD never quit ??? Thats where you end up , you sign on for a job here you sign up for life ..."

Andy " Well here comes Rodent being led into the freezer , I'm getting out before they lock the doors ..."

Eskimo -vs- Rodent ( Icicle Match )
Guy " Here we go as both men are locked in the freezer .."

SiD " Eskimo is so fat I'm surprised he did not take a bite out of the frozen meat ."

Guy " Stop it , Eskimo swings a piece of meat at Rodent and nails him in the face . Rodent is dressed very warm but Eskimo is not , guess he is used to this weather ..."

SiD " Ahhhh what was that ??? "

( Long pause ... )

Guy " OK sorry about that back to the match .. Eskimo has Rodent in a head lock and sends him head first into the wall of the freezer .. Rodent is down and Eskimo goes for a splash but misses as Rodent moves out of the way ... Eskimo slides on the ice into the wall and Rodent is right on him bashing him in the head with a dead body .."

SiD " Who's body was that ???"

Guy " It's Angelo the old janitor that caught Pig Vomit stealing ..."

SiD " Well , I guess Pig Vomit thought him to keep his mouth shut .."

Guy " Sure did , man Rodent just DDTed Eskimo to the icy floor .. Its very cold in there as we can see boths mens breath .. They both are gonna catch a cold .."

SiD " Who are you there Mom , I hope they both DIE !!!!"

Guy " Your a sick bastard ... Eskimo and Rodent exchaning blows , Rodent tries a standing drop kick but slips on the ice a bangs his head ..."

SiD " Why is that little creature in there ????"

Guy " Its the meat locker monster who lives in the sewers , his name is Diablo ... Eskimo picks up Rodent and slams him down and now he is grabbing a meet
hook ... Eskimo trying to jab the meat hook into Rodent but Rodent blocks it with a case of beer ... There is beer spraying all over the place and both men are covered in it head to toe ..."

SiD " The Prez must keep his beer in there to keep it ice cold ... There is a full keg in there , damn I gotta get into that meat locker .."

Guy " Eskmo gives up on the meat hook and bashes Rodent over the head with a beer can which cuts Rodent wide open .. Rodent scrambles away but is slipping on the floor , Eskimo hurls a big chunk of frozen beef at Rodent and nails him in the back of the
head ..."

SiD " Damn that Eskimo is a power house , Rodent better think of something quick or he is in trouble .."

Guy " Eskimo has Rodent by the neck and here comes his finisher The Eskimo Pie ... He picks Rodent up by the neck and slams him down sitting on him , oh man that has to
hurt ..."

SiD " Yeah six hundred pounds of blubber landing on your ribs does hurt .."

Guy " Eskimo is up and Rodent is pulling himself away by just his arms ... He might of paralyzed him from the waiste down ..."

SiD " Hey , Diablo just pulled Rodent into the sewer ..."

Guy " Yeah I don't think Rodent could of survived much longer , but hope he can stand Diablo ..."

Winner : Eskimo
Report from Clive Anderson :

" This is Clive Anderson with a special report do to the apperance of The Singing Slasher , John Jasper Max Insanity has quit ... So the Dog collar match is canceled ...Back to you Guy and SiD .. "

SiD " Do we really need that fag for those reports ??? We could of told you that .."

Guy " Well we gotta give him something to do .. The Prez has already announced the new match which is coming up ..

Jackass -vs Pitbull
SiD " Who is Pitbull , didn't we already have a Pitbull in the past ???

Guy " No we had a Bulldawg or something like that and before you say it no I don't know what kinda name Jackass is .."

SiD " We been working toghether too long , heh ... I'm gonna go to the meat locker and see if any of that beer is left .."

Guy " WAIT don't leave me , oh forget it ... The match has begun , Jackass starts it off with a running clthesline and Pitbull is knocked down to the mat .. Jackass kicks Pitbull in the face then picks him up for a side suplex .. Elbow drop by Jackass which misses as Pitbull moves out of the way .."

SiD " Hey dumbass look at your moniter !!!"

( splitscreen of SiD in the meat locker with Bad Andy ...)

SiD " This is great I can watch the match from here and get drunk with Andy , but it sure is cold ..."

Guy " You better not get caught by The Prez thats his secret stash ..."

SiD " Aww shut up and call the match .."

Guy " Pitbull with an irish whip into the ropes cathces Jackass and delivers a back breaker . He goes for the early pin but Jackass kicks out ... Jackass with a blow to Pitbull's mid-section only stuns him for a second as Pitbull nails him in a DDT ... Pitbull going for a figure four but Jackass kicks him off ... Jackass is on his feet now and he nails Pittbull with a big right , Pitbull returns the favor and both men are going toe to toe .. Jackass comes out on top with a standing dropkick followed by a moonsault , he hooks the leg but Pitbull gets his arm up !!!"

SiD " DVD satnds for Digital Versatile Disk ..."

Andy " HAHAHAHAHA !!!"

Guy " You two drunk already ???"

SiD " No Andy has some really good weed ..."

Guy " You always complain about The Prez doing drugs and now look at you ..."

SiD " Weed is not a drug , hehehe .."

Guy " Whatever back to the match ... Jackass has Pitbull by the hair and treats him to an Asian Spike ..."

SiD " AAAAWWWW Asian Spwike , haw haw haw ..."

Guy " Would you cut it out , oh man your gonna get us in so much trouble with the Asian community ... Jackass with a step over toe hold but Pitbull powers his way out and power bombs The Ass to the mat .."

Andy " HAHAHA you called him The ASS !!!"

Guy " Here comes " The Dog Bite " by Pitbull and a pin 1..2..3 , its all over !!! "

Winner : Pitbull
Guy " Phewww only two matches to go ... I don't know how a make it through these cards anymore ... The chaos , my partner getting drunk with a puppet , I tell you this fed has put an extra twenty tears on my life ... Lets go over to the basketball court where Neep is getting ready to defend his IC belt to Kid Money ..."

Kid Money -vs- Neep
Guy " They have checked Kid Money for any guns , no one is getting shot tonight ... Both men are locked in The NJ Nets basketball court and we are ready to begin . The IC belt lays on top of one of the basketball nets , the first man to get it wins ... There are weapons hidden around the court and it is surronded by a chain link fence so this should be a bloody one ... "

SiD " Lets go , I wanna see some hoops baby !!!"

Guy " Neep runs away from Kid Money looking for something to hit him with .. Kid Money walks over to the first row of bleachers and reaches under them for a hockey stick signed by The NJ Devils Scott Stevens ... Neep is still looking and all he finds is an ironing board .."

SiD " What is he going to do with an ironing board ???"

Guy " Neep ducks a blow with the stick by Money and slams the board over his head ... Now Neep is standing the board up and ...

SiD " And hes gonna iron , hahahahaha !!!"

Guy " Yes , Neep irons Money right through the board with a press slam .. Neep trys to pick Kid Money up but recieves a hockey stick right under the jaw .. Money stands up holding his back as there is no mats down on the hard wooden floor .. Kid Money with a savate kick , then he gets a fist full of hair and slams Neeps face into the hoop
pole ... Kid Money still has Neep by the hair and Neep struggles to get free but Kid Money monkey flips him to the floor and hops on him beating him in the face with a barrage of punches ..."

SiD " That was a mouth full . Hey Andy this keg is almost tapped lets get out of here .."

Guy " Neep flips Kid Money off , runs over and dives on top of him returning the favor with a couple hits to the face ... Neep is choking Money and he looks far from the great technical wrestler he always claims to be .."

SiD " Yeah Money has seemed to really piss him off somehow ..."

Guy " Money is reaching for that hockey stick and he grabs it as Neep unloads on him ... A quick slash to the face and Neep is cut wide open and falls off Money holding his face .. Money gives Neep a few stomps and goes over to get the ladder laying at center court .."

SiD " He's going for the gold !!!"

Guy " No Money is not done with Neep yet as he lays the ladder down on Neep , he gets a runing start and recieves a ladder if the stomach as Neep gets up before Money could do anything .. Neep setting up the ladder now and then turns around just in time for Money to double ax handle his ass into the floor ... Kid Money picks up the ladder and slams it down on Neep , then he jumps on it smashing Neep between the ladder and the hard floor ..
Money sets the ladder back up and starts to climb it but as he gets to the top Neep dives in one last effort and knocks the ladder out from underneath Money ... Money is hannging from the rim kicking his feet .."

SiD " HAHAHA , hang on white boy !!!"

Guy " Money won't give up he is hanning on tying to pull himself up and get the belt .. Neep crawls over and gets a basketball off the rack and now he stands up hurling balls at Money .. One bounces off the backboard , one off Money's butt , and one score two points as it swishes into the net .."

SiD " HaHA ho , Neep should try out for The Nets after this !!!! They suck anyway .."

Guy " Neep nails one right off Moneys head and he falls to the floor ... Whats that noise ??"

SiD " Its Madman he is cutting through the fence with a chainsaw !!! "

Guy " What is he doing out there ??? Some officials try to stop him but he just slams them to the floor and he is through the fence .. Madman walks past Neep and Kid Money who are both hurt on the floor and he is climbing the ladder and he has the IC belt .. Neep gets to his feet and walks over to Madman but Madman just nails him with the belt .. Madman puts on the belt and raises his hands to the crowd , then he turns around wips it off and nails Money in the back with it ..."

SiD " I guess Madman is sending a message that he wants the belt ???"

Guy " I think he is just out there causing trouble like usual ... Madman continues to beat down Money then he tosses the belt over in Neeps direction and leaves the court ?? Don't know what that was about ..."

SiD " Yeah Madman and X-Treme are boneheads .."

Guy " Now it is a crawling race to the belt .. Neep has one eye shut and is bleeding from that slash to the face with a hockey stick .. Kid Money is bruised but looks better then Neep ... Both me get to the belt and Money has to dive as they both grab it at the same time .. Its a tug of war and Money rips it out of Neeps hands then nails him with it .. Kid Money is the NEW IC CHAMP as he holds the belt up in the air in victory !!!"

SiD " That was one of the best matches I have seen in a while .."

Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champ
KID MONEY
Guy " Well we just one more match to go and Clive is standing by with Darkstalka's mystery opponant ... "

" This is Clive Anderson with , I don't know ..."

( The man standing next to Clive is in a mask and can not be identified ..)

Clive " Who are you ??"

Masked Man " Just call me BM for now , you will find out after I dispose of Darkstalka ."

Clive " Well , there you have it BM .. Thats waht my Mom use to say when he was talking about taking a crap ... Do you think he is named after taking a crap ?? "

SiD " NO , moron it stands for Balls Mohoney .."

Guy " You do not know that you are only guessing ..."

Darkstalka -vs- BM
Guy " Darkstalka comes out with his casket ready fro the mystery man BM ."

SiD " Balls Mohoney I'm telling you ... "

Guy " As Darkstalka makes it to the ring BM charges out and picks up a chair ... He nails Darkstalka before the match even starts , then opens his casket and takes out a whip .. BM whipping Darkstalka and leaving big cuts across his back . now BM has some canister from Darkstalka's casket and he spills it on the casket , lights a match and sets it up in flames ... Darkstalka tackles BM , but BM nails him with the handle of the whip and gets up dusting himself off .. BM is taunting the crowd , pointing to Darkstalka as he picks up the chair again .. BM is beating Darkstalka with that chair and here comes all the officials trying to stop him .. One official puts out the fire as the others try and get in BM's way of beating Darkstalka .. BM pushes them out of the way and nails Darkstalka one more time with the chair .. "

SiD " Here comes Ravage to the ring .."

Guy " Ravage grabs BM from behind pulling off his mask and SiD was right it is Balls .."

SiD " Told ya dugh , BM .."

Guy " Balls has the chair and is threatning Ravage with it as he walks backwards towards the entrance ramp .. He exits the arena as Ravage gives chase .."

SiD " Well you can bet ABSTRKT will be looking for Balls tonight , or later , but they will be after his ass .."

Guy " But ' till then this is Guy Mandel saying good night , GOOD NIGHT ..."

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT