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| Neurotically Yours: Episode # 060: Amityville Toaster Foamy: Hey, look what I got from that internet auction site. Germaine: What is it? Foamy: It's a toaster from that haunted house in Amityville. Amityville! Germaine: You bought a haunted toaster? Foamy: Watch, this is cool, you put in regular old white bread and... 48 seconds later… Germaine: Wheat toast? How did you end up with wheat toast? Foamy: No one knows! What’s even cooler is when you put it wheat bread, you get pumpernickel, and when you put in pumpernickel you get a blueberry muffin! Germaine: Bullshit. Foamy: Oh yeah? Fine. It just so happens I have some pumpernickel bread right here. 56 seconds later… Germaine: Whoa! Foamy: See? Blueberry muffin. Germaine: That's freaky. What happens if you put a bagel in there? Foamy: Good question! 6,798 seconds later… Germaine: Is... is that a pork chop? Foamy: Oh man, what a jip. I was hoping it'd be one of those toasty cakes. Germaine: Ooh, try waffles! Foamy: Eh, you know, the auction description said not to use waffles. Germaine: Why? Foamy: I dunno, something about getting back a toasted human hand or something. Eh yeah, don't fuck around with it. 987 seconds later… Germaine: Whoa, it's a toasted hand. Foamy: What did I say about using waffles?!? Foamy: The Amytiville toaster, make breakfast spooky, spooky talk from toaster, spooky eat me toast, yum yum yum, human hand. Copyright: Jonathan Ian Mathers: 2004. www.illwillpress.com |
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