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Drama Scripts
A Bird Of PreyThe Bad SeedHumor Scripts
The ScriptThe Cheese ShopLeg Leger LegendThe Great AssigningPerson Of The Month ClubThe Golden DoorWhos On FirstThoughts During a Boring SermoThe Funniest Joke Ever Writtenillwillpress Drugs n ur headillwillpress Amityville Toastillwillpress Coffee Houseillwillpress So I said to himillwillpress Tech SupportThe Swamp Castle SketchInvader Zim 1Poetry
Poem Set 1Poem Set 2Poem Set 3Prose
Fall OutThe Bad BeginningThe Boy Who Lived|
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| The Script: By Auther: Unknown Producer: No, I told you I was very busy … you don’t believe me?? … Well how’s this? I had to make an appointment with myself three weeks in advance just to have lunch today. So I really don’t have time to waste talking to you. Get it?? … If I want to talk to you I’ll call ok, fine, bye mom … some people. Writer: I am so sorry I am late I would have called but I don’t have your cell phone number. So I just came right over. I know how important this meeting is to you. Waiter, mineral water … thanks Producer: Who are you? Writer: Your lunch meting. Producer: I don’t have meeting Writer: Well officially, no. But I knew you were going to be here, so I figured why waste an hour Producer: Very considerate, um who are you? Writer: I’m a blessing from heaven Producer: I’m going to have you removed, Waiter Writer: wait you don’t want to do that you and I may never have this chance again Producer: Hmmm that’s to bad. Hopefully God will be merciful when he judges me. Waiter. Writer: I know. You’re hungry. Why don’t we order than first than we can talk business. So what looks good? Producer: You deceased Writer: Hey, that’s funny. No, seriously what do you want, Producer: You to evaporate. Writer: Sorry cant does that not just yet Producer: Let me ask you something. Are you my punishment for some past life transgression? Writer: Actually, I am your savior; I am here to save you Producer: From what? Writer: From yourself. From your mediocre existence. Producer: excuse me, but I am not in any way shape of form mediocre Writer: let me rephrase; no, you personally are not mediocre. You are one of Hollywood’s biggest producers, but the product you gave us, well…. Producer: I’ll have you know my last tree movies have grossed out at least 200 million a piece. I am a goddess in this town. Writer: hey, if you want to judge success on money, that’s your business. . I’m talking about raising your sense of values. Lifting your artistic standards to a whole new level. I can do that for you. Producer: Oh no! I’ve got it you’re an actor, right? Writer: Don’t be ridiculous. Producer: Then you must be worse. But is there anything worse than an actor. OH MY GOSH!! You’re a writer!! What have I gotten myself into? Writer: Relax, I’m harmless Producer: WRITERS. … writers are never harmless. I’m surprised you are here alone. Don’t you people usually travel in packs? Writer: Not always Producer: And if you are here I’m almost sure there is some voluminous piece of scrap paper you like to refer to as. Oh yea what do you call it. Ah, yes a script. Writer: Funny you should bring that up… Producer: What is that? Writer: your escape from oblivion. Producer: That’s not a script, that’s a tome Writer: It’s a masterpiece, I want you to know I am very serious about this and I have been working on it for about a month. Producer: How long is that. That thing!! Writer: page-wise. I am not sure. But I figure that in this form the movie will run OH, give or take o I’d say nine hours. Producer: Nine hours?? Are you insane no body will sit trough a nine-hour movie!! Writer: Sure they will don’t sell the public short. They sat through “Dances with Wolves “ didn’t they? Producer: “Dances with wolves was 3 hours long. Writer: Really, Hmmmm seemed like nine. Anyway enough on that piece of garbage. This is the baby that will make you a hit in this town. Producer: I AM ALREADY A HIT IN THIS TOWN!! Writer: Just in your own mind, look why don’t you sit down? Producer: Because obviously you are some lunatic who escaped some asylum. Writer: nope, just Orange county Producer: Same things, what will it take to make you go away? Writer: Listen to me. Seriously. Producer: If there is the slightest chance you will go away. I’ll listen. Writer: Ok great. This is a story that’s full of well, everything. Producer: of that I’m sure. Writer: I like to see it as a cross between “Home Alone” and “Platoon” Producer: Are you kidding me? Writer: Not at all. It’s the story of a little boy whose father is going off to Vietnam and the boy sneaks off to Nam with his dad by hiding in his duffel bag. Producer: I’m speechless Writer: I knew you would be. Anyway the father’s jeep is ambushed and everyone is killed Producer: Except the little boy Writer: Of course. He is left alone in Hanoi and to avenge his father’s death, he becomes the youngest, smallest Special Forces officer in history Producer: And he single handedly wins the war, right. Writer: Yes, or he steps on a land mine and blows up, I haven’t decided yet I have two endings Producer: And what do you plan to call this epic you are going to inflict on the public. Writer: “ A Connecticut child in Ho Chi Min’s Court “ Producer: that does it. Ok, now I have listened to your insane idea now, before I take you into the kitchen and boil you, run, do not walk to the nearest exit and take your pitiful scribbles with you. Writer: But. Producer: GO!!!! Writer: You know you try and do some people a favor and they can’t see a good idea when it’s staring them in the face. Suit yourself. Enjoy your mediocrity. Producer: (on cell Phone) Murray shut up and listens. I want you to stop production on this stupid space thing we are doing. Why? I’ll tell you why. I just got a brilliant idea for a new film. Well, I take place in Vietnam. |
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