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| Rodney Dangerfield One Liners A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. It's been a rough day. I got up this morning...put on a shirt and abutton fell off. I picked up by briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. When I was born...the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father..."I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...But he still pulled through." My mother had morning sickness-after I was born. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father...He said he wanted more proof. Once when I was lost...I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him..."Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said..."I don't know kid...there are so many places they can hide." My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get. I went to see my doctor, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect" I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. |
 danielleabelle@aol.com |
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