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| Information / Newsletters / General Topics of Importance; all daily updated for your needs and pleasure. Please enjoy and partake of Information to your fullest dear fellow Brothers and Sisters. |
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| "utilising knowledge is the weapon for removing ignorance, hurdles, predicaments and impossibilities." |
| Today's Topic: Problems Affecting Us Kids and Teens. |
Today's Newsletter Consists of only Questions, which should be examined very carefully by you.
These are as Follows:
Why Should Teenagers be Afraid or Ashamed to Express Themselves to Society, to their Parents, to Humanity in General?
Why, Instead, do they look for various other means to express their feelings, such as Alchohol Consumption, Drug Use and Abuse, Smoking, etc? Is this because some time in their pre-teen life they were subjected to Psychological and Physical Abuse, or is it just mere Ignorance and Adolescent Delinquency being expressed by them? This and more will be answered in tomorrows newsletter. Any Queries or Questions that you may have, please email me at {persadomesh@hotmail.com}. Thank You.
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| This is the weekly Newsletter Article in reply to the above. |
The problems experienced by youths today and their subsequent reactions in dealing with them, have stemmed form a variety of other problems in the social network. Amongst these are peer pressure of fear pressure, cultural and societal norms imposed on them, financial status, ethnic and cultural status, and a whole other range of factors. But, whilst many of these stated factors are probably for the most part largely responsible for the problems that teenagers face, it must be noted that they occur in the process of secondary socialization, when the child is introduced to the society as a whole. Thus it is clear that it in the child’s early life, during the process of primary socialization whereby the child is taught and socialized into the family network, that difficulties and problems set root. Let us then examine the family institution.
A model family is a family with strong love, security and much understanding, which is built up from healthy communication and trust between all members of the family, i.e. parents, children, grandchildren and other close relatives under the same roof. It is where that healthy communication is sustained no matter whatever the situations arise and its consequences. There must be a strong bridge between parents and children, and that bridge is communication and understanding. However, the family unit in today’s society is becoming a model disaster. There are growing and continuously developing problems surrounding the behavior and lifestyles of the younger generation of kids and teens and this is in great part due to the lack of communication. When children in today’s society attempt to reach out to their parents with their normal teenage and sometimes very serious problems, the problem is that they do not know how to, or more-so are afraid to open-up because of the fear of immediate dismissal and indictment for responsibility for their own problems, ridiculed, derogated, punished, intimidated and quite frequently embarrassed. Everyone is uniquely predisposed and so deal with situations in life differently, but parents always seem to make the terrible mistake of comparing one sibling with another, or with another kid, usually belittling the child with the problems. A lot of parents never seem to, in the most delicate and crucial times, sit down, ‘listen’ to their children, ensure that they spill everything, reason out things and then attempt to offer advice or solutions. Instead, they are quick to draw conclusions and judgements, which are sometimes prejudiced by other similar cases, and offer either short term, rash solutions or all-together dismiss it as unnecessary worry, frivolous and time-wasting. Thus no great solutions and help is achieved by the kids and teens, and so they remain with the problems bottled up inside them, and become embattled and frustrated and continue to suffer physical, emotional and mental torture.
Furthermore, as a result of their frustration, they start to look for other ways of quick dismissal of their problems, by somehow drowning their conscience, and the most accessible form of achieving this state of mind, of escape and release is by becoming intoxicated by the use of drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, and inhaling other harmful and intoxicating substances. Thus, they achieve the temporary mind relief of their built-up and unsolved problems and frustration and they become so dependant on it, that they become addicts and slaves to the substances that cause it. And all this is attributable to the initial lack of communication and understanding in the home. How are they to be able to cope with the larger society and the greater problems that they would encounter, when they are unprepared, confused, misunderstood, embattled and sometimes shattered from the home. Clearly, this is where the problem has to be corrected. A stronger family bond built on the foundation of love, trust, security, discipline, understanding and communication is the only way to help this young upcoming generation to heal and reform their lives, and erase all the problems and solutions of drugs, alcohol, etc. which are plaguing their lives. However, it must be noted that there are closely knit, healthy families in which there is much understanding and communication, but the kids of these families sometimes end up being drug addicts and very torn, frustrated individuals. And the responsibility for that is totally attributable to the lack of discipline, leadership and spirituality in the home. It is not to say that there must only be love in the home. There must be discipline and punishment, but it must be administered reasonably, sensibly and never as a means of force but as a means of correction. The term ‘unconditional love’ should be applied in the home not as a means of constant abuse, or aggression in the name of love, but rather correction, discipline and teaching with love. In this way, there would be a balance in the functioning of the various tools in making a model family with all the positive vibes and virtues and upbringing healthy, happy teens.
Apart from the emotional and psychological torment experienced by kids and teens as a result of the societal problems they face, it is difficult and ugly to digest but as true as day, that a lot of innocent and helpless children are everyday victims of abuse, incest, rape and other sorts of ugly, pernicious acts. And because of this psychological and physical abuse and pain which they suffer in their tender preteen lives, they become spiritually and emotionally impoverished, lacking confidence, trust, security and a feeling of dignity to face the world and live their lives. They feel torn and robbed inside, having their youth and innocence violently ripped away from them. Thus, being discriminated and misunderstood by their own sex, and ravished and betrayed by the other, they turn to forms of escape from their conscience, and become addicts to drugs and alcohol consumption. But, could they be blamed? Should they be labeled the own cause of their misfortune and distress? No, that is teleology; treating an effect as a cause, and that is incorrect since causes always precede effects. Thus, it is indeed essential that we serve as friends to each other and reason and understand each other, so that we can assist in making each other better individuals, as we are all soldiers for the same cause; living life, making the best of it, and enjoying it. It is only in this way would we be able to remove this stigma which has become a festering wound.
Let us begin to forgive our parents for their mistakes and errors in handling, administrating and helping us develop our lives. Let us try to forgive and forget, and develop ways of controlling our lives and always doing what’s right, no matter how difficult it may seem. In this way, we would ensure that we ourselves one day to come don’t make the same errors with our children. But, in the process of refurbishing and healing our lives, let us not tolerate anyone telling us that it is just delinquency and ignorance that which we are experiencing and exhibiting. There are many of us who have become delinquent and ill-disciplined, but let no one discourage us in our attempts at changing and becoming better persons. There are many who would discourage and try to prevent the younger generation taking hold of their lives, because they themselves did not do it when they had the opportunity. Their time for change and uplift has prospered and gone, don’t let the same happen to us. Let us capture and take command of our time for development. Let us stop stifling and drowning our thoughts, feelings and consciences. Also, very importantly, instead of trying to take the easy, cowardly way out by using and abusing drugs and other silent killers, let us stand up and face the challenges. Whether it is as a result of teenage and societal problems alone, or some festering wound because of abuse and betrayal in our early lives, or both, let us use it to help us prosper and be determined in our lives to excel and be the best. Instead of drugs, alcohol, etc., let us try again and again to talk with our parents, and if that seems impossible, then let us turn to someone inside our outside of the family network, who is trustworthy and who you are comfortable with, so that we can just talk and be heard. Being heard and understood is as good a drug as any. Let us devote our time and attention to helping someone, even if we are suffering the greatest torment ever, because sometimes in dealing with other, we learn valuable lessons for ourselves. Let us write and express ourselves if we have to. Anything but turning to the sure but slow and silent killers- drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Let us fellow kids and teens, embark and continue on this journey of reclaiming our dignity and transforming our lives for the best, and removing all the unpleasant misconceptions and stigma’s attatched to teens. Let us move upwards instead of downwards; let us be courageous instead of cowards. Let us reform so that our generation, our children’s generation and others to come would never be in the same predicament as us, and so wouldn’t have to suffer the horror that teenage life has become today. Let us begin and encourage and help each other to commence.
Omesh Persad.
For any queries or comments or to speak directly with Mr. Omesh Persad please email at persadomesh@hotmail.com
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