Signs that you’re a Band Geek 1) When you hear music and you start marking time. 2) When you walk behind someone and fall into step with them. 3) When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song. 4) When all your friends are in band. 5) When changing clothes on the bus is a normal occurrence. 6) When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio. 7) When every guy/girl you're interested in is in the band. 8) When you actually like wearing your uniform. 9) When people ask you about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my flute/trumpet/drum/etc.?" 10) When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory. 11) When you've had a "trombone-ectomy". 12) When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog or cat. 13) When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life. 14) When people worry when they see you without your instrument. 15) When "armed guard," means a girl with a pole, instead of a guy with a gun. 16) When band camp is FUN! 17) When you respond to "hey, band nerd." 18) When someone says the word " get that box to the right" and you automatically think right, back, left, up. 19) When you remember the order of flats and sharps more easily than your own name. 20) When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same. 21) When you’ve been to the hospital at least twice for band related reasons. 22) When having your feet parallel to your legs feels natural. 23) When your instrument has a name. 24) When you remember your instrument's birthday and forget your mom's. 25) When making a straight line is your biggest accomplishment of the day. 26) When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet. 27) When you can make brown shoes look black. 28) When you start to wear black socks often. 29) When your uniform fits. 30) When red feathers become a fashion "do". 31) When you see your section more than you see your family. 32) When band becomes you’re life. 33) When someone says, ”pay attention” and you’re quit and motionless. 34) When everyone wants to kill the football team. 35) When you have dreams about band. 36) When you think evening practices should last a half-hour longer. 37) When you accidentally call your band director "Dad". 38) When you CAN sight-read. 39) When you have races with others to see who can put on their uniform quickest. 40) When you use cork grease as chap stick. 41) When reeds taste good. 42) When mouthpiece disinfectants become part of your daily diet. 43) When you think your plume is alive. 44) When marking time is your favorite form of exercise. 45) When you have a neck strap/harness tan line. 46) When you subconsciously start practicing in math class with a pencil, marching it up and down along the y-coordinate line like it's the 50. 47) When numbers past 8 aren't important. 48) When you roll step through the cafeteria so you won't spill your lunch. 49) When you'd rather practice than read this list. 50) When letters past G aren't important. 51) When your instrument and hands bond, literally. 52) When you play your old marching music. 53) When you carry your sticks/mouth piece/drum key with you everywhere. 54) When you annoy people by drumming and you don’t even realize it. 55) When you stay after school just for band. 56) When you get to practice thirty minutes early, especially if you’re there before the band director. 57) When you sing your music in the hallway. When you can identify with ten or more of these symptoms you are a band geek. (that’s a good thing, after all look how I turned out) The one and only, T Once a Spartan, always a Spartan. Marching Spartans, the BEST band in the land. Pride Dedication Results The one we for got to put in that we have is Passion. How many drummers and tuba players does it take to change a light bulb? 1. "Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?" 2. Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in. 3. Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb). or 4. Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins. In New York City, an out of work jazz drummer named Ed was thinking of throwing himself off a bridge. But then he ran into a former booking agent who told him about the fantastic opportunities for drummers in Iraq. The agent said "If you can find your way over there, just take my card and look up the bandleader named Faisal--he's the large guy with the beard wearing gold pajamas and shoes that curl up at the toes." Ed hit up everyone he knew and borrowed enough to buy transport to Iraq. It took several days to arrange for passport, visas, transportation into Iraq and the shipping of his equipment, but he was finally on his way. Ed arrived in Baghdad and immediately started searching for Faisal. He found guys in pajamas of every color but gold. Finally, in a small coffeehouse, he saw a huge man with a beard--wearing gold pajamas and shoes that curled up at the toes! Ed approached him and asked if he was Faisal. He was. Ed gave him the agent's card and Faisal's face brightened into a huge smile. "You're just in time--I need you for a gig tonight. Meet me at the market near the mosque at 7:30 with your equipment." "But," gasped Ed, "what about a rehearsal?" "No time--don't worry." And with that, Faisal disappeared. Ed arrived in the market at 7:00 to set up his gear. He introduced himself to the other musicians, who were all playing instruments he had never seen in his life. At 7:30 sharp, Faisal appeared and hopped on the bandstand, his gold pajamas glittering in the twilight. Without a word to the musicians, he lifted his arm for the downbeat. "Wait." shouted Ed. "What are we playing?" Faisal shot him a look of frustration and shouted back, "Fake it! Just give me heavy afterbeats on 7 and 13." A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, "I'd like to look at the accordions, please." The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says "All our accordions are over there." After browsing, the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner." The store owner looks at him and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?" The drummer, crestfallen, says, "How did you know?" The store owner says, "That `big red accordion' is the radiator." How do you get two flutes to play in unison? Shoot one. If you throw a clarinet player and a bass violin off a cliff which one would hit the ground first? Who cares What's the difference between a saxophone and a chain saw? The exhaust. How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it. What’s the difference between a donkey and a brass player? Nothing, except brass has a B and a R. What is the dynamic range of a percussionist? On or off. How do french horn players traditionally greet other bandies? Hi. I played that last year. A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?" "Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all." The next night she went out with a tuba player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?" "Ugh!" the first girl exclaimed. "Those huge, rubbery, blubbery, slobbering slabs of meat; oh, it was just gross!" The next night she went out with a French horn player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?" "Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so; but I loved the way he held me!" What is the main reason for air pollution? So much of it has passed through Ryan’s Tuba. Top 15 things to do while you’re bored at symphonic band 1) Act like a retard and say piture while playing a drum on your head 2) Make puppets out of your instruments (bozzle and wazzle) 3) Make up your part 4) Play when your not suppose to 5) Play on your marching equipment 6) Eat and drink something 7) Do your homework 8) Go for a walk in the school 9) Through stuff in Ryan’s tuba 10) Through stuff at Ryan 11) Ask Mr. Burgio the same question but by different people 12) Sleep 13) Make fun of the other sections 14) Play your old marching band music 15) Flinging rubber bands (try it it’s fun) But whatever we do we rarely play the bells, after all how many times has Mr. Burgio told use to stop playing the bells. Remember if you’re not a percussionist you’re an airhead excluding Ryan (sometimes) (P.S. cymbals are brass beaters but not airheads) What do you get when you mix percussionists, a tuba player, and a sax/French horn player? A but load of fun and pain (never ride a tricycle being pulled by a car) Go to this website to here the best sing ever. http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php