JOKE 1 THERE WAS A KID AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ASKED HIM TO GO TO HIS HOUSE TO HAVE DINNER. SO HE SAYS OK. HE THOUGHT HE WILL BE DOING IT SO HE WENT TO THE PHARMACIST. HE ASKED IF THEY HAD CONDOMS. THE PHARMACIST SAYED YES. HE ASKED DO YOU NEED A 3 PACK A 10 PACK OR A FAMILY PACK. THE KID SAYED THE FAMILY PACK BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BE BUSY. THAT NIGHT HE GOES OVER TO HIS GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE AND SAT AT THE DINNER TABLE. THE MOTHER SAID,"HOW ABOUT WE PRAY?" EVERYONE PUT THEIR HEADS DOWN. AFTER THEY PRAYED, THE KIDS HEAD WAS STILL DOWN. 10 MINUTES PASSED. THEN ANOTHER 20 MINUTES PASSED AND HIS GIRLFRIEND WHISPERED TO HIM,"I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO RELIGOUS." THE KID SAID, "IM NOT VERY RELIGOUS, I JUST NEVER KNEW YOUR FATHER WAS A PHARMACIST. JOKE 2 THERE WAS A GUY FROM FRANCE THAT DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TALK ENGLISH AT ALL. SO ONE DAY HE WENT TO AN OPERA AND THE OPERA LADY SAID ME MEE MEEE MEEE MEE ME, SO HE LEARNED THAT. HE GOES TO A RESTURANT THE NEXT DAY AND PEOPLE ARE SAYING FORKS AND KNIVES, FORKS AND KNIVES! SO THE GUY LEARNS THAT. HE GOES OVER TO HIS HOTEL ROOM AND TURNS ON THE TV AND HEARS SUPERMAN!!! AND HE LEARNS THAT. HE CHANGES THE CHANNEL AND SEES THAT ITS SOCCER AND A GUY HAD JUST MADE A GOAL AND YOU CAN HEAR THE GUY THAT MADE A GOAL SAYING YEAH! YEAH! AND HE LEARNS THAT. THE NEXT DAY THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND HE SEES A DEAD LADY ON THE FLOOR. THE POLICE COME 10 MINUTES LATER AND ASKED WHO DID THIS? THE FRENCH GUY SAIS ME MEE MEEE MEEE MEE ME. "WHAT KIND OF WEAPONS DID YOU USE?" THE COP ASKS, FORKS AND KNIVES, FORKS AND KNIVES! WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU? SUPERMAN! YOU SHOULD GO TO JAIL HUH? YEAH YEAH! JOKE 3 THIS ONE 21 YEAR OLD GIRL WAS PROMISED A NEW TOYOTA IF SHE WINS A TUG-OF-WAR GAME.SHE SAW THAT THE PERSON SHE WAS GOING TO PLAY WAS A WIMP, SO SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASY. THE GAME STARTED AND SHE WON WHEN SHE PULLED HARD AND THE WIMP FELL INTO THE MUD. HER FRIENDS TOOK HER OUT TO THE PARKING LOT AND WHEN THE GIRL OPENED HER EYES, SHE SAW THAT SHE WON A NEW TOY YODA! JOKE 4 THESE COUPLES HAVE BEEN LOVING EACH OTHER FOR SO LONG. THEY WERE CELEBRATYING THEIR SIXTITH BIRTHDAYS AND A FAIRY POPPED UP OUT OF NOWHERE. SHE SAID YOU TO HAVE BEEN LOVING EACHOTHER FOR SOO LONG, IM GOING TO GRANT YOU EACH A WISH. THE LADY SAID I'VE BEEN ALL AROUND AMERICA IM MY RV, I WISH I COULD GO TO EUROPE. TWO AIRPLANE TICKETS APPERED IN HER HANDS. THE OLD MAN SAID I WISH I HAD A LADY 30 YEARS YOUNGER THEN ME. THE FAIRY TURNED THE OLD MAN INTO A 90 YEAR OLD.....(they were sixty first) GO TO THESE WEBSITES FOR MORE FUNNY JOKES, PIX, AND VIDEOS EBAUMSWORLD.COM FUNNYJUNK.COM FUNNYSHIT.COM hahahumor.com FUNNYDOT.COM