... Bob Dole participated in the testing of Viagra, and has apparently agreed to do some promotionals for the drug.
Possible content: "I didn't win the Presidency, but with Viagra I can act like I did!"
Top Slogans Currently Being Considered by Viagra:
Viagra. The quicker dicker upper
One-a-day, like iron
Get a piece of the rock
You've come a long way, baby
Viagra, it plumps when you take 'em
Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
Tastes great, more filling
Viagra, built ram tough
2. Here's the beef!
And, the number one slogan being considered by Viagra:
Just do her.
Honorable Mentions:
We work harder, so you don't have to
Ten inches long ... and growing.
Viagra, when it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight
Viagra, home of the whopper
Viagra, Now is a great time to be silver
This is your penis. This is your penis on Viagra. Any questions?
A presidential staff advisor walks into the daily meeting a little late and notices that everyone has a glum look on their face - some even look a little frightened - and Clinton isn't in the room.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"Well, we had some bad news, and got some even worse news," replied one man.
"What's the bad news?" asked the advisor.
"India has detonated some atomic weapons at their underground test site; Pakistan has done the same at their proving area, and China is warning them both that this could lead to a regional war - that may go nuclear."
"Oh my God, what could be worse than that?" exclaimed the advisor.
"Well, Bill just got hold of some Viagra," answered the man.
A man who had been prescribed Viagra dies "in the act" and rigor mortis has set into his private parts. The funeral director can't get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man's beautiful young widow. "I'm afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra large coffin or to amputate his member."
"Well I have no more money," states the widow, "and it is against my religion for me to bury my husband in more than one piece."
The funeral director thinks about this and then comes up with a brain-wave: He'll amputate the member and then stick it up the deceased's backside, in which case a more expensive coffin is unnecessary and the husband will still be, in a manner of speaking, in the one piece. The widow reluctantly agrees.
On the day of the funeral, the deceased is displayed in an open casket. As the mourners file by, one mourner places flowers on the coffin and a drop of water from the flowers falls onto the deceased's face, looking for all the world like a teardrop.
The next mourner to file by is the widow. She looks down at her lifeless husband, notices the "teardrop" and says to him quietly, "See, I told you it hurts!"
Q: What do Viagra and Disney World have in common?
A: A one-hour wait for a two-minute ride.
Q: Did you hear what happens to men who take iron supplements and then use Viagra?
A: When they get an erection, they point north.
Q: Do you know what happens when you take Viagra and Propecia together?
A: It makes your hair stick up.
Q: What is the difference between Niagra and Viagra?
A: Niagra Falls.
Q: Did you hear about the 13-year-old boy that got hold of his father's Viagra?
A: They rushed him to the hospital with third degree burns on his hands.
Q: Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino?
A: One cup and you're up all night.
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe four, but cut each one into four pieces."
The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."
The elderly gentleman said, "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore, as I'm over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
