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A little BrAiN cAnDy
Emily D Poetry
Quotes on Love
Quotes on Everything
MuSiC
My LYRICS
Typical
Sunset Gun
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| typical - the stuff i think about |
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| Okay, so here it is. My typical, the rant and rave page I thought i owed to the generation of powderpuff primpy teenagers. I know it's corny and worthless and that half of the people who visit this page will take one look at it, click, and be gone. oh well. who cares. oh, and another thing, if you actually read this page and find it interesting, check back in weekly for updates. anyway....... #15 - NEW! 1/7/05!! It's been a long time everyone. I'm now in my second semester as a sophmore at WVU, and living in my very own apartment with my most wonderful boyfriend, Brandon, and our less than wonderful room mate, Alex. Having to share an apartment with someone who you don't like, who smells like sweaty, hairy, feet, and who really doesn't do much to help out, really sucks. I'm talking about Alex, not Brandon. hahaaa. Writing on here makes me feel so incredibly old. Brandon's turning 20 in a few days and it seems like just yesterday i was writing on here about how much i wanted to date him. Life has truly changed, and I can honestly say I've grown up. I feel sad when I think of what that means, but it makes me happy too. I feel sorry for some people that i know who are my age and are still incredibly vain and selfish. not saying that when you "grow up" you leave those things behind, because i could name plenty of people who are adults and are like that. I guess what i'm trying to say is that it gets under my skin when i see girls these days who think showing off their bodies and getting so drunk that they pass out every single weekend is a path that's going to lead them to the man of their dreams who will value them. I'm sure that's the case if you want a 40 yr. old WVU frat boy as your husband. haha. you know, i once got advice from someone before i came to school at WVU, and she said that if i could help it at all, to stay away from the guys from New Jersey who go there. now, i'm not against anyone from New Jersey, or anywhere for that matter, but she was completly right. if you go to WVU you will truly understand what i mean. (I apologize if I offend anyone, but this really doesn't apply to u unless u go to WVU). I actually have even become friends with a nice guy from NY who is the kindest, funniest pal we have...even if he does enjoy illegal substances now and then. Overall, i feel what i am trying to say is that i feel really bad for some people i know who still hang out with the same kinds of people and do the same kind of things that they did and dreamt of doing when they were 15. I guess that's because i know what it's like to change and to expand your friendships beyond your boundaries of comfort. whatever...as BP would say, "I'm gettin' too old for this!". oh yeah, and my best cousin Mike and his girlfriend Tracy just welcomed Elizabeth Ann into the world a few days ago...with a full head of red hair!! CONGRATS!! i can't wait to see her!! #14 I remember the first time i ever wrote a word on this typical page. it was forever ago and i was still in high school with friends i don't think ever really liked me all that much and a hope that someday life would really be better. now here i am in my second semester in college, still hoping that life could be a little better. i hate getting up early and going to class. I hate writting seven page papers on topics i don't even understand let alone care about. oh yeah, and i still hate the same kind of people i used to, but here in college it just seems to me that some of their extremely dislikeable characteristics are even more prominent. you've got the girls who get up 3 hours before class just so they can curl their hair and slather on 10 pounds of make-up. the ones who go "clubbin" 5 out of seven nights of the week and probably have accumulated more STDs than you could shake a stick at. there are the stuck up ones who make fun of the older people (i'm talking like 40 yrs + people) who are in classes and ask intelligent questions. the jocks the preps the geeks and the rest of the people who seem to be normal. i guess the hard part is telling them all apart...someone might look perfectly normal and polite, but then you say hi and they give you this look like "why are you like speaking to me". whatever people. you've also got the guys who love the girls with the curls and the make-up and the STDs, who are jerks to any girl not revealing cleavage or booty. the punks who don't care, and the obnoxious boys who only want to get a rise out of someone. there are even cowboys here..some are nice, others not...just like any other group. so i guess the point of all of this would be that if you're young and in high school and think that things in college just automatically get bigger and better...that's not neccessarily true. you've really got to change things for yourself and learn that before you go and pretend to be something you're not just to fit in, you've got to learn who you think you might be and what you like before anyone decides those things for you. the end..amen. #13 so christmas has come and gone..geesh! i can't believe it, really. it seems like every year christmas just gets more and more less magical. cause i remember being a little kid, still believing that some fat guy in a big red suit could possibly fit down through my chimney...and stayin up on christmas eve, not because i wanted to, but because i couldn't sleep..now that was magical lemme tell ya. but now it's just the same old same old. i get up late, open a bunch of presents that i picked out and wrapped myself, then spend the rest of the day sleeping or eating food. yeeehaw. so how was your christmas??hahaa..i hope it was great kids! yeah, over all mine basically rocked cause i could have never imagined my life would be so like great right now. don't worry, though, kids. i still dislike just about everyone..especially little girls who try to be things they're not, and guys who think that just cause u can catch a football you're the king of the world. whatever people..growwwwwwwwww up, k? i dunno, but i think it's good for a person to at least feel a tincy slice of bitterness every once in a while. keeps ya sane. so guess what? i got a new puppy..yep, she's really adorable..she's a brindle/fawn mix boxer..her name's Charlea. yeah, whooptie doo, i know. hahaa. so, as u can tell, when i'm this happy with life, i can't find much to criticize..i hope u all can understand and not like me any less cause i'm actin like a teeny-bopper. oh well, deal with it, kids! love ya! #12 hey hey hey kids!! well i'm just basically sitting here thinking about how good life is right now...it's true...it's really possible to be extremely happy. so i went to a place where i haven't been in a very very long time, tonight. the bowling alley!! hahaaa...yeah..in like 7th and 8th grade my whole life like totally revolved around going there and trying to make new friends or meet new guys. but this time...after roughly two years or so..it was all about just actually bowling, being happy, and hangin out with friends. just having fun and acting crazy...it was frickin awesome! i dunno though really..what else to say that is. blaaahhhbllllllllaahhhhhhhhhh...i shouldn't even allow myself to type stuff on here when i really don't have anything important to say..so i'm just gonna shut up now because i know that no one really cares anyway. go have fun kids..and do your homework!hahaa...talk about one heck of a nerd..just look at me! #11 it has really been a lonnngg time since the last time i updated this. for a while, things seemed better than ever, but i suppose in life we can't always have everything make us happy all the time. i know i might get confusing, so don't worry. okay, so on one end of the spectrum, there's someone in my life right now would i just could not do without..he makes me happy every second of every day. but then on the other hand, i've got a situation where i feel like i'm losing control with the people who i used to count on. it's insane, and i think that i've just gotta go ahead now and face the fact that life isn't always fair sometimes. but other than my one problem, everything else rocks. except for trigonometry. i suck at math, i really do...i hate it too..i don't even pay attention anymore, i just gave up. so if anyone out there can give me a sliver of help with it, i'd be greatly appreciative. and i'm just sick and tired of school altogether. i think it's because i've been goin to the exact same school, exact same dull teachers, exact same retarded people, for hmmm..let's see...roughly 5 years now. it gets really boring after that long. i've got a new awesome band on my list too. Sugarcult. those guys frickin rock my world right there...two of my fav songs are Drive All The Way and Bouncing Off The Walls Again. all i do with my life anymore is watch frickin tv and get on the internet...i'm a pretty big geek/dork. but it's allllllllll good, cause it's fun to be that way. oh yeah, i found one of my favorite books yesterday...The Gate To Women's Country. talk about some quality reading....i reccomend the book to every girl in the world cause it's some really good stuff. and holyyyy crap!! did anyone see Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone?? well, you should if you like fantasy movies...i know it sounds like a little kids thing, but it really isn't..the effects are frickin great. another reccomendation by me. yeah, i went to see a stage version of "It's A Wonderful Life" today with my theater class....frickin stuff made me cry! the downside though was havin to make a very long bus trip to and from it. so i just realized that half of the things i've said today aren't even relevant to any of your lives. but who cares. deal with it, k? #10 so now, life's not so complicated. it is, yet it isn't..ya' know? and now i'm beginning to see that the chances i was once so frickin afraid to take, really weren't that confusing after all, and that they were things i should have done a lonnngg time ago. cause it really is worth it. even though it has taken a while, and will take even longer still, as of right now i don't feel quite as dysfunctional as before. so it's all good. and now i'm on this blues/soul music kick. i love billie holiday, ella fitzgerald, b.b. king, etta james, otis redding, and of course the young and talented, one and only, jonny lang. they totally rock. and i'm really beginning to get fed up with really fake people. i've come to the conclusion that being a super model isn't what's important..actually, it never has been to me. not everyone's perfect.so for those to which it applies, a little advice: not everyone cares which guy wants you this week or how many times he called, how many times you wash your hair in one day or which boyband member is your favorite today. it gets tiring to hear after a while, so if you catch yourself, please shut up for the sake of those around you who really could care less. so, i might seem a tad bitter, but believe me, i'm far from it. i'm seriously more happier now than i have been in a really long time. what can i say, it happens sometimes. #9 so ya'll....i just wanna say that life is really crazy..and that my life is explained exactly in the words of carolyn dawn johnson's song - complicated ------- 'i'm so scared that the way that i feel is written all over my face, when you walk into the room i wanna find a hiding place, we used to laugh we used to hug, the way that old friends do, now a smile and a touch of your hand it makes me come unglued, such a contradiction - do i lie or tell the truth, is it fact or fiction - oh the way i feel for you > it's so complicated, i'm so frustrated - i wanna hold you close i wanna push you away i wanna make you go i wanna make you stay - should i say it? should i tell you how i feel? oh i want you to know, but then again i don't it's so complicated >'yeah, so that's basically my theme song..and sitting here thinking i realize that sometimes you just gotta take chances, and that's really what i'm scared to, but am gonna have to do one of these days. now i know that what i'm about to say probably won't make sense but i'm gonna say it anyway..some things just never stop hurting..like no matter how far you think you're beyond them, you turn around and a glimmer of the stuff you felt before is always there every time...and now i see that i shouldn't get into that.but i will say that lack of sleep causes problems. and that i am officially in love with otis redding. he is the frickin king, man. #8 I just wanted to let everyone know that i'm now the official princess of silence, the queen of stupidity and awkwardness, and a master at being a jackass. it's true. i'm frickin insane. pitiful. don't u hate it when that happens? i know i do. cause there's really nothing you can do to go back and change things even though you wish you could. just a single solitary moment that totally screwed you over...when you screwed you over. when you're kicking yourself in the @$$ for being a complete moron. well, congratulations to me. i have accomplished all of the above. yikes. #7 There are so many GC references i'm thinkin of right now. like...the little things they always bring me down. and...i practice all the things i'd say, to tell you how i feel but when i finally get my chance it all seems so surreal. also the ever popular...don't care about a thing today, i used to but i'm fed up: and i can't hear the words you say, i wish that you would shut up. I guess my mood today is slightly bitter. i can't stand people who are stuck up their own a$$es. they flaunt everything about themselves without a hint of humblness. what the heck is the deal here people?? i can't stand the fact that i know i take things too seriously sometimes. i'm annoyed, but okay with the idea, that there are just some people who i just can not and will never be able to handle for more than 5 minutes at a time. sometimes i wish that people would just wake the frick up. the world isn't full of flawless super models...regular people like myself live here too. thanks a lot twiggy...that's all i got to say. but, more than anything, i hate the fact that everytime you think you have the words, YOUR MIND GOES BLANK. what's up with that? i mean, every time you try and plan out what you're gonna say to someone, you get all messed up and can't even talk. and it's not like you don't want to. the words physically won't make it beyond your throat. so, all of you who read these things probably think i'm some fickle weakling who can't make up her mind whether she's happy or sad. close. i'm stuck in limbo today, but who knows about tomorrow. #5 hey kids! i'm sorry i haven't been here in a while. i've been doin other important things like watching tv and eating food. i'm sure your life's like that too. so, i'm a slacker...who cares. i don't play sports because i don't like too..i like to think that my body wasn't made for activities such as basketball, volleyball, and track. i wasn't even prepared for the frickin mosh pit here people! i will say that that is one intense experience. being in the second row of a GC concert...gettin smashed by the smelly sweatiness of hundreds and hundreds of other fans who all wanna just get closer..just a little bit closer to the music. and that was my first pit experience, so i was a little scared at first...but then Joel just looked right at me and the whole crowd just jumped in time with the music, and everyone was singing the lyrics that explain me..they were singin my songs and we were just all rockin. it was totally awesome and something i'm never going to forget. thanks guys. anyway, back to my life. i've decided that the next guy i date will need to be different. he'll have to like punk. he can be in a band or at least hope to be in a band. if he played an instrument, that'd be a plus. but it'd have to be something cool...like the guitar, or drums, or bass, or...accordian..harmonica even. anything, as long as he's cool. as long as he is sweet, and won't care that i'm just a little stupid sometime. i know it's far-fetched and i'll never get what i want, but it's nice to dream now isn't it? i feel like i'm writing a personal ad for the newspaper or something. maybe i am. wouldn't it be cool if some random guy who fit this description decides hey, she seems like a cool chick, why don't i hook up with her. what a freakin dream world i'm livin in. does anyone else wish like i do? HUH?? ya gonna answer me? fine! anyway, i can't stand little 12 year old wh&%#s who walk around like every guy digs them. it really makes me mad. i'm a firm believer in the old "he'll like me for me." even though part of me knows that's just wishful thinking. i also hate adults who have become stuck up like 15 year olds and won't even look or speak to you even though u know them. forget you people. who needs it? i know i don't. and as bitter as all this may seem, i've actually been happier lately. even though a lot of people who i, at the beginning of summer regarded as cool, have turned their backs on what they were supposed to have believed in, and forgotten what i and others mean to them. forget you too. who needs it? not me. there is one more thing i wanna talk about today. it's the fact that i always seem to fall for guys who should just be my friends. i hate it. because i know that if i took it any farther i'd screw it up, and i'd rather have the guy not know, than have things messed up. i'm not good at taking chances like that...I MEAN, THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO I'VE HAD CRUSHES ON FOR YEARS, AND THEY'VE NEVER EVEN KNOWN...at least i think they haven't. but anyway, that's my crazy life. goodnight. #4 lately i've been talkin to people about their relationship situations, and this is just my take on some things..here's some advice. guys - don't let her walk all over you, cheat you, then leave you without any explanation. don't let her use you. don't think just because she's pretty that she'll be smart. don't automatically think that she's easy. a lot of awesome girls aren't. even if you don't like her 100%, give her a chance, you might in the end. don't give her up without a fight. don't act overly macho..it's corny. don't be overly obsessive or territorial...it turns a girl away. be romantic every once in a while. she's just as nervous as you are when it comes to the first kiss...just go for it. if you break up with a girl, stay friends with her...it means a lot, believe me. don't think you always need a girl to be happy. girls - don't act stupid in order to get a guy. if he doesn't like you for who u are, then he's just not worth it. stay confident. just because your friends have guys doesn't mean you have to, unless you really want one. don't be shy..make the first move. treat him like a best friend. be yourself. even if he's the nerdiest guy you know, give him the benefit of the doubt, and who knows, it might be worth it. don't go crazy if his best friend just happens to be a girl...it is possible not to have feelings for someone of the opposite sex. don't use him to make yourself look better...or take you places. don't let him walk all over you, cheat you, then leave you without any explanation. if you break up with a guy, stay friends with him. don't think that you're always gonna fall in love. don't think you always need a guy to be happy. #1 i think that it's really cool when people stand out. when they stand up for what they believe in, even when it's against everthing "everyone else" believes. i like my music loud..like sum41 and newfound glory and good charlotte. i like classic movies with marlon brando and frank sinatra. i hate feeling left out and invisible, and i'm sorry if i've ever made anyone feel that way. i can't stand girls who are as fake as the makeup they put on their faces. when they can't seem to dress differently or listen to different music or even talk differently. i love a guy that can make me laugh. i can't stand guys who tell |
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