DAVID HOUSTON - Lead Guitar
- Age 16
- Influences - Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure,
Bauhaus, Joe Satrianni, John Ford.
- Cock Length- Refuses to Comment (Dave
refuses, not his cock)
- Notable Aspects - One of the best guitarists
in the state of Utah, winner of the award
for Getting Along with the Smallest Number
of People Anywhere, has been striking terror
in the hearts of sheep sodomizers since
1996.
IAN SHORR - Bass, Vocals
- Age - 17
- Influences - The Beatles, Paul Simon, The Clash,
KMFDM, Smashing Pumpkins.
- Cock Length - N/A (has a vagina)
- Notable Aspects- Brain rotted from too much
Ritalin and sex with produce (its all about
those cantelopes), sleeps with anything with a
pulse, is attempting to start the Nudity Mafia
at his school (go on peeing rampages).
Jonathan Myers - Drums
- Age - 15
- Influences - Garbage, Alice in Chains,
house music, Smashing Pumpkins, Satrianni,
and D.J. Fuckstick from Limp Bizkit.
- Cock Length- I tripped over it this morning
- Notable Aspects- Only band member with a
job (we sometimes try to pimp Ian on State
Street), is the Nipple Pinching Champion of
the world, should get more action than Ian
but chicks here prefer fat bastards.
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