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| Knee slappers that'll keep ya laughing for hours...... |
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| This page is so hot....its steamin up! The blonde jokes are so funny, you'll have to use them on your friends!! |
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| +Caution+ if you are a blonde and take jokes about you offensive, just leave cuz you will be offended! Blonde Jokes Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A: A golden retriever. Q: Why are blondes not allowed to take coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet? A: Last year's hide-n-seek winner. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: How does a blonde spell farm? A: E-I-E-I-O Q: What does a post card from a blonde say? A: "Having a great time... Where am I?" Q: What do blonde virgins eat? A: Baby food. Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't, they are born that way. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? A: With a tire pressure gauge. Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number 'Eleven'? A: Because she couldn't remember which '1' came first. Q: How can you tell a blond has been using your computer? A: By the white out on the monitor! Q: How do you get a one-armed blond out of a tree? A: Wave to her. Q: How can you tell a fax has been sent by a blond? A: There's a stamp on it. What is a blond with brunette died hair .... artificial intelligence How many blonde jokes are there? .... none, they're all true What do you call a blonde with a brand new P.C .... a dumb terminal Q: How do you call a blond A: You don't .... you whistle Brunette to the blonde .... Awww, look at the dead birdie .... the blonde stopped, looks up and says, "where"? Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill? A: Because it kept falling out. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides. Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat? A: In case she locks the keys in her car. Other Jokes Q: Why is the dick called a rumour in America? A: It goes from mouth to mouth. Q: Why is the dick called a gentleman in England? A: It stands up when a lady passes by. Q: Why is the dick called a thief in Baghdad? A: It enters through the back door. Q: Why is the dick called a labourer in India? A: It works day & night. Q: Who wrote the book "Bubbles in the bath tub"? A: Windy Bottoms Q: Who wrote "China Torture"? A: U Chew Mine. Q: Who wrote " Russian Torture"? A: Let me cut their cock off. Q: Who wrote "Arabian Torture"? A: Shake my boob. Q: Why girls rub their eyes when they getup in the morning? A: They don't have balls to scratch. Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can. Q: Why are the sex organs of an elephant in his feet? A: Because if he steps on you, you are royally fucked. Q: Why did Mahtama Gandhi never wore an underwear? A: He beleived in freedom movement? Q: Why India has never had a female President? A: What would you call her - Rashtra(patni)? Q: What did Rajiv Gandhi say when he saw Dhanu comming towards him? A: What a BOMB! Q: What was Dhanu's figure? A: 36-0-36. Her waist blew off. Q: What happened to Rajiv Gandhi's blue eyes? A: One (blew) to the left & other (blew) to the right. Q: Which is the most popular four leterd word used in a whore house? A: Naw.......it's NEXT. Q: What is the difference between a girl in a bathroom and a girl in a church? A: The girl in the church has her soul full of hope and the girl in the bathroom has her hole full of soap. Q: What is the difference between a ship and a girl? A: A ship cuts through the water and a girl waters through the cut Q: What is the difference between a girl and a bike? A: A bike you kick it and use it. A girl you use it and kick it. Q: Why is sex so popular? A: It is so centrally located. Q: What is the similarity between a girl and an oven? A: You heat them before use. Q: Define a girl in cricket language? A: No cover, No extra cover, a deep gully between two fine legs. Q: Define a Bra? A: Under shoulder bow Blonde Girl on Her Way to Jamaica... A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.' The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says 'I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.' The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot. The co- pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replies, 'I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica'. Q:What do you call four blondes in a car? A:Air conditioning. Q:How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A:You knock on the door. Q:What's the difference between a blonde and Windows 95? A:The blonde operates on more laptops. Q:How can you tell when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies? A:There's M&M Shells all over the floor. Q: Why do Blondes wanna be like Vanna White? A: So they can learn how to Spell! Q:Why does the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet every morning? A:To feed the toilet duck! Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been in your fridge? A: Lipstick on the cucumbers Q:Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river? A:So she could have shade when she swam across. Q:What's the difference between a blonde and a Kit Kat Bar? A:You only get 4 fingers in a Kit Kat bar. Q:What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common? A:They both have a black box! Q:What do you call a blond with a Chainsaw? A:Dead. Q:What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A:They are both empty from the neck up! Q:How are a blonde's legs like a convenience store? A:They are always open. Q:What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A:A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. Q:What do you call a blonde with a leather jacket? A:A rebel without a clue. Q:Why did the blonde have square boobs? A:She forgot to take the tissue out of the box. Q:Why do blondes wear big hoop earings? A:So guys have somewhere to put their feet. Row boat: One day a blonde was rowing a row boat out in a wheat feild. Another blonde pulled up in her car she got out and said "hey its your kinds of blondes that make my kind of blondes look bad. And if i knew how to swim i come out there and beat you up". Q:How do you drown a blonde? A:You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. Pretty Fly for a President By The Tylerspring <>< (Sing this to the rhythm of "pretty fly for a white guy"by the Offspring) You know its kinda hard just to have affairs today, Our subject isn't hot, but he fakes it anyway, He may have a wife, and a really cheesy smile, But all that sex with Monica.... He's in total DENIAL! So don't debate, He keeps it straight, You know he always, got it everyday. He copped a feel, and kept it real, For Hill no way, for Hill no way, He thought his sick trick, Was pretty damn slick, Until Mon got caught MESSIN WITH HIS DICK!, Now that's just the beginnig you see, so Hey! Hey! do that sexy thing! Give it to me Billy..... Uh Huh Uh Huh Give it to me Billy..... Uh Huh Uh Huh, Give it to me Billy..... Uh Huh Uh Huh "And all the interns say I'm pretty fly for a president" Now he's gettin a Blo Job Yeah, He's gettin it done, He thought she was 16, But she's really 41! Friends say its really just cool, To suck the Pres's dick, But the rest of the world, Just thinks it's pretty sick! Give it to me Billy..... Uh Huh Uh Huh Give it to me Billy..... Uh Huh Uh Huh Give it to me Billy..... Uh Huh Uh Huh "And all the interns say I'm pretty fly for a president."> |
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