 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
SPORT
Jokes
Palindromes
Minnesota fight songs
Polls
Lukes Test
|
|
| JOOOKIES |
 |
| metzler's jokes are lame |
| ||||||
| Cool packer burns (me and casey made all of these) The packers r so poor they use their ticket stubs for 5$ rebates The packers had to save up do be poor The packers r so bad the put "help wanted! apply now" signs on their front office The packers r so stupid, they never no if they won, bcuz they cant read the scoreboard PACKER-SPEAK GUIDE >>> HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting. >>> HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. >>> Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?" >>> CHESTER DRAWERS.... (noun) an item used to place folded clothes >>> Usage: "Mawma, where's my new tube socks?" "Dija check 'da >>>chester drawers?" >>> BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." >>> JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." >>> BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is >>>Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 >>>in improvements." >>> MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. >>> Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't >>>herd from him in munts." >>> THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process. >>> Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." >>> >>> BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and >>>yeast. >>> Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." >>> IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." >>> Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!" >>> RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. >>> Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck >>>my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. >>> Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup >>>truck." >>> FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. >>> Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my >>>pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far." >>> >>> TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. >>> Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a >>>flat tar in my pickup truck." >>> TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. >>> Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to >>>see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime." >>> RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. >>> Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65." >>> FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle >>>or combat. >>> Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh." >>> RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. >>> Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats." >>> FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. >>> Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some >>>farn country." >>> DID - (adjective) - Not alive. >>> Usage: "He's did, Jim." >>> EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen. >>> Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!" >>> BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. >>> JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. >>> Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that >>>bob war fence cump'ny?" >>> HAZE - a contraction. >>> Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked >>>but a minnit'n 'is laf." >>> SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see". >>> VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun. >>> Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?" >>> GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. >>> Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert." Vikings Fan, Packer Fan and a genie A Vikings fan and a packer fan are walking on a beach and the Vikings fan kicks up a bottle. A genie comes out and says to the Vikings fan I will grant you three wishes, but you must understand that whatever you wish for, the Packer fan will get twice as much or twice as better. The Vikings fan says ok. So we wishes for 5 million dollars. The genie says now you relise that the Packer fan will get 10 million dollars right? The Vikings fan sighs and says yes I no. So than he wishes for a mansion. The genie says wish granted but now the packer fan will get one twice as big. So you have one more wish says the genie. The Viking fan thinks about this for a while, he gets a big smile on his face and than says, beat me half to death. ACKER AND VIKING CAR ACCIDENT There's a Packer Fan driving from Green Bay to Minneapolis, and a guy from Minneapolis driving from Minneapolis to Green Bay. In the middle of the night, with no other cars on the road, they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Packer manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at the twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Viking scrambles out of his car, and looks at his wreckage. He says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Packer walks over to the Viking and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God, that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals." The Viking thinks for a minute and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now, I am gonna see what else survived this wreck." So the Viking pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Packer, "I think this is another sign from God, that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship." The Packer says, " You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle, the Packer hands it back to the Viking and says, "Your Turn!" The Viking twists the cap back on the bottle and says' "Nahhh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up!!!" The Smart Packer Fan The boy came running home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy, " he yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said his mother. "Is it because I'm a Packer fan, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're a Packer fan." The next day the boy came running home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," he yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!" "Very good," said his mother. "Is it because I'm a Packer fan, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're a Packer fan." The next day the boy came running home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, none of the other boys had this, but I did!" And he dropped his pants to expose his pubic hair. "Very good," said his embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm a Packer fan, mommy?" "No sweetheart, it's because you're 25." |
 Sign Guestbook |
 View Guestbook |
|
. |