Many of you were wondering how to get into the PrivatePage, because there is a password. This is to protect the contest winners' names from my home area. Instead, here is the most recent past issue of the Courtney Chronicle. Enjoy! Short Story I was partying on New Year’s Eve, waiting for the clock to strike twelve. I made a resolution that in the New Year, I would stop talking my head off. In June, I had not broken my rule yet. In November, I still had not broken my rule. It was New Year’s Eve, and I decided to host a huge party. There were 7,000 guests and 200 long lost relatives (I had also invited the alligators from the zoo, but they couldn’t make it). At 11:58:55 p.m., I had a sudden urge. I shouted, “I absolutely love New Year’s! Every year, you can make, like, resolutions for the next year! Like, dude, it’s totally awesome! Who wouldn’t make a resolution? Only crazy people, that’s for sure. Like, oh my gosh! It’s almost the New Year! Like, yeah! Like, uh?! Five…so awesome…four…almost there! Three…I love that number…two…this is so fun!! One…like, Happy New Year!” I turned around…what used to be a full room was like an empty jail cell. I started to be considered cool…until I started talking my head off! My new New Year’s resolution is not to break my other New Year’s resolutions. Useless Facts 1. The original game of Monopoly was circular. 2. Hippopotomonstrosesquipp-edaliophobia is the fear of long words. 3. More people are killed by donkeys each year than by plane crashes. 4. Birds do not sleep in their nests. 5. In the United States, a pound of potato chips costs two hundred times more than a pound of potatoes. The Florida Panther: Journey to Extinction With light brown fur and a black-tipped tail, you have to wonder why this cute bunch of fur is nearly extinct. First of all, they used to roam all of the United States freely. Then they became fixed in Florida from habitat loss. Because of humans who endanger their habitat, they barely have living space anymore. Because of human hunters, there has been a decline in White-Tailed Deer, the Panther’s main prey. Farmers hunted the Panther because it was a ‘threat to livestock,’ while the human hunters killed their main prey. Now, the only place the Florida Panther can survive is the Everglades-Big Cypress Swamp Region. With only 30-50 of these amazing cats left, what have they done to deserve this? If we don’t help now…who will? Now tell me: how do we get them back? Donate! Go to http://www.panthersociety.org/ap.html to learn how to Adopt-a-Panther for as low as $12 (age 12 and under) up to $300 as a lifetime member. It’s definitely worth it!

Easy French Hoquet: hiccup Quick Quotes Forget injuries, never forget kindness. Confucius (551 BC – 479 BC) What was the occupation of the man who invented the electric chair? A dentist! Makes you feel a little safer now, right? Did You Know? A housefly hums in the Key of F.